Shaking worlds
by Marina Ka-Fai
Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 1**

Lancel listened to the rain pouring outside, hitting the windows of the religion club of his school, as he was organizing the library. He sighed. It had been such a lovely morning when he arrived.

"There's a French saying stating _"En Avril, ne te découvre pas d'un fil."_ Yeah, in April, don't get undressed. Wise words, french men. Spring was just born, after all."

He decided that the weather wouldn't depress him. What did he have to complain about? He had loving parents, siblings he adored, he had friends, he was lucky enough to attend a school that allowed people that tended with the Seven Gods to have a small club named the Sparrows, as sparrows were the humblest of animals. They had a club like any other people would have one for their passion, cooking, fencing, archery… That was a wave of tolerance he had enjoyed when he had rediscovered the Seven. He had turned eighteen on the 21st of January, he was a good student, no in all seriousness, it sounded petty to be bothered by the weather when he was born healthy, wealthy and living in a relatively happy place.

Relatively.

His club had been in a debate lately, as a law had been passed, allowing gays and lesbians to marry. He didn't enter the debate, he thought his words didn't matter much. The LGBT community was here, it had been around for centuries, it was cool for them, but he didn't care that much. However, quite a number of his friends from the club were fully opposed to it.

"That is absolutely unacceptable, next what? They'll be able to adopt?" One said

"The mere idea of that makes me sick." Another added

"But, wouldn't it be nice for orphan kids? I mean, it's best to have two dads or two moms instead of none and growing up alone." Someone tried to explain

"That's a poisoned gift! A child needs a mother and a father to grow up."

Lancel held his tongue, trying not to explain the case of his cousin Joy, a lovely pre-teen, raised alone by his uncle Gerion before he disappeared at sea. He held his tongue, not trying to explain the case of his favorite cousin, Tyrek, raised alone by his mother after his father died of cancer and who didn't turn a delinquent despite the odds. They would reply that they would have found a maternal and a paternal figure among the immediate family, and that wouldn't be wrong. Kevan had been there for Tyrek when his father died and Joy found in their aunt Genna the mother she never met. He understood his friends, it was true that in an ideal world, a child would need both parents, but Life wasn't idealistic. And after all, they were just debating, sharing opinions, no harm done.

"They should be hunted down, just like they were in 300 AL." Another one said

The word hunt made him shiver. He understood them but this wasn't 300 AL anymore, they were in 2016, people had changed and evolved and the mere idea of hunting someone down for such a detail was scary for him.

"Never thought Gawain would be that extreme…" He wondered.

He checked out the clock. He was actually glad that his least favorite class, politics, was about to start. He really needed to get away from that hateful atmosphere.

 _XXXXX_

Loras sighed as he faced the school gates, protected by his umbrella. It was the first time in three months that he was facing it again and he thought that the rain that was falling down was fitting his state of mind. He felt better but that wasn't saying much. He felt that he was in a dream, still not realizing what had happened, what he had lost. He had faced it all in a second state, he was present but his mind had been elsewhere.

"I can't remain locked up in my room, half asleep half crying though…" He thought

"Come on Loras, let's enter, we'll be soaking wet." Margaery said to him

She had a soft smile and offered her hand for support.

"Not that I don't enjoy soaking wet things." She joked

He chuckled.

"A smile, finally! Blessed be the Seven!" She exclaimed with a laugh

They entered and Margaery left him, off to attend her French class. Loras headed towards his politics class. It had been a mandatory option, one he found interesting but sadly, he had no head for it, he just couldn't grasp or understand. He understood the basics, the words, the explanations but when faced with a test, he found himself unable to make people understand that he understood.

"At least, the teacher sees I'm trying and that it interests me. Not like the teacher last year, what and old hag!" He thought before bumping into someone.

A faint sound of surprise mixed with a very small shock made him realize that he pushed someone with his shoulder. He froze.

"I'm sorry." He genuinely apologized

"No big deal."

The voice sounded familiar. He looked up to the person who spoke.

"Great, I bumped into the Lannister priest…What's his name again? Lancel? Yeah, we share some classes. " He bitterly thought

"I should have looked where I was going." Lancel said

"It was my fault, I was lost in thoughts."

Lancel simply nodded before heading to the restrooms.

"I've seen that guy before… Loras? Yes, I'm pretty sure this is Loras Tyrell. Haven't seen him around in a while. Doesn't seem like a bad guy but I'm not sure I could be friends with someone like him." He wondered

Yes, Loras didn't seem like a bad guy but he was Lancel's opposite, he loved to dress up nicely, he was extravagant, he was outgoing, he managed to have jokes all the time, inspired by one word. Lancel had enjoyed dressing up nicely at some point but now, he didn't care all that much, he just made sure he didn't look silly, only seeking comfort and practicality. He was about modesty, he didn't like showing off anymore, he did that when he lacked confidence, and if he still lacked it on some points, he was more self-assured than he had been three years ago. He was more of a listener, if not more of a loner. If he tried to relax, he had a poor sense of humor, something he was trying to work on. So yes, Loras could be a nice guy, but he wasn't a guy Lancel would be friends with. Opposites could attract just as much as people with common points could get along.

He barely managed to contain his surprise when he saw that Loras was near his classroom, alone, waiting for the teacher to open it.

"Those bloody days…" He thought

 **To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 2**

The silence between them two was awkward and painful and though the teacher was never late, the five minutes that separated him from arriving in class seemed like an eternity. Lancel wanted to break it but didn't know what to say and he felt relieved beyond words when Olyvar arrived. He disliked the guy, not because he was gay, but because he was a maneater, but at least, he'd keep Loras company, certainly a better company that he was.

"Gods, I must disgust him a lot if he actually refuses to talk to me when it isn't mandatory for him!" Loras thought as Lancel checked his phone after Olyvar arrived

It almost made him angry. Before he remembered that Lancel had no idea he was gay. There were only rumours about him. He never knew about Renly, few people knew as he kept his private life… Well, private.

"Perhaps he just doesn't know what to say. It's not like we're friends or anything. Maybe he's shy."

The teacher finally arrived and they took their seats. Lancel sat alone, as usual. He didn't mind, it actually helped in forcing him to focus on the class. He checked his phone one last time, making sure it was set on mute. The picture of a smiling Janei, hugging the Squirtle plushie he had won for her in a lottery, was greeting him. He found himself smiling in return as he put it away.

"I should try and find her Charmander, Bulbasaur and Pikachu. Maybe Eeevee, it's the one she likes best." He thought

The lesson started and surprised the students, as it was more of political history than politics itself. Lancel didn't mind, he loved history. If anything could make politics better, he was a buyer for it. Then, it was announced that group projects were expected of them and to help students to get to know each other better, the duos would be formed by the teacher. Disappointment could be heard.

"I want you to pick a Targaryen king or a hand of the king from 1 AL to 300 AL and make a report on one side of his politics, its impact on the realm and the consequences for the future. It can be any side, the foreign policy, the economy, intern security…"

A list was put on the chalkboard to be filled up.

"And now, for the pairs…"

The class held its breath. Some thanked their lucky star to be put together, others seemed neutral, and Lancel felt bad for the good students that were put with people who would let them do all the work and gain a good grade without moving a finger.

"Lancel Lannister and Loras Tyrell…"

"Bloody Hell! The mute Lannister sparrow..." Loras silently swore

He left his table to join his partner. Lancel didn't even grant him a glance. All the pairs were formed and the pupils started to think on the person they were going to study.

"So…" Lancel started "You have any preferences?"

"Sadly, we can't do something about the Targaryens consorts."

"There's always Rhaenyra if you want to do something about a ruling queen."

In the end, they settled with Viserys II Targaryen, who had served as Hand of the King under Baelor the Blessed, as he had managed to maintain a certain peace despite his king's focus on faith. Lancel was organised and willing for the work, so it was one relief for Loras. At least, they could get on well for the good grade at hand. The hour passed and a short break was offered to students before they attacked the second hour of politics. Most of them went out, despite the rain, to smoke. Lancel remained inside, he wasn't a smoker and he didn't need a coffee break. He was surprised to see that Loras came out to talk a bit with his sister before he came back to sit by his side. He wondered why. He checked out his messages, just Willem passing time in a boring class by sending him silly textos. He gently scowled him, almost laughing. Loras noticed his background picture.

"Who is she?" He dared ask "Not that I spy or anything, I just…" He quickly added

"Relax, I know you didn't spy. Not on purpose."

Loras seemed eased.

"This is my little sister Janei. She's three." Lancel said

"She looks adorable." Loras replied, genuine

"She is. She's our little princess."

The smile and dreamy look on Lancel's face as he spoke of his baby sister was saying a lot about his character. He loved her and would rip apart anyone that would hurt her. And in that, Loras found a bit of himself. Margaery was all grown up but he'd tear apart anyone who would hurt her. He was her big brother and his job was to protect her. It felt easier to speak with Lancel on that regard, as two brothers caring for the younger sibling they had. He seemed more… Human.

"Why were you away for so long?"

The question had come out with no warning from Lancel's mouth. There wasn't any attack behind it, it was pure curiosity. And in a way, Loras had pried into his private life with the picture, it was only fair Lancel had his time of gossip.

"I lost someone I loved dearly and it broke me. I needed time to recover."

Lancel only nodded.

"He was my sun, but he wouldn't want me to be in a depressed state forever."

He…

Loras was gay.

His sun... The pronoun he... He was no fool, he knew what it meant, he could read between the lines. At school, it had been a true wonder, as no one really knew which side he favoured, but he had come out, just like that, to a stranger, a mere acquaintance.

"He must be confident enough. That's admirable." He thought

He looked at him, the miss was still fresh as his gaze was sad and away despite the small smile he tried to have. Lancel felt he needed to say something, even if it was clumsy, he wanted to, he just hoped it would come out right, that his words and his voice would show his true intentions and not hurting him further. Loras felt ill-at-ease when Lancel didn't reply.

"He must have guessed I am gay. Crap, to think we had a chance of opening up…" He thought.

Finally, Lancel opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry you lost him."

It was simple but sincere. He meant every word.

That was all Loras needed at that moment.

 **To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 3**

"Here's my number. Thought it'd be nice to be able to call each other, for the project." Loras said as he gave Lancel a piece of paper

Lancel nodded, saved the number and send a message to Loras so that he could register his number as well.

"It was nice, talking to you." The Tyrell added

Lancel nodded. He felt ashamed for thinking Loras the way he did. He still had a long way to become better, to become someone being true to the Seven's will, a tolerant man who didn't judge. Just because he seemed to be an opposite, he was sure it couldn't work out and didn't even try. They barely met each other but he could have, at least, be nice to him.

"I hope we'll have enough time to finish this here." He said

"If not, you can always come to my place." Loras offered

"Same." He answered

The fact that Lancel Lannister was talking to Loras Tyrell wasn't bothersome to Gawain, when he saw it a bit from afar. It was part of the politeness expected of people in society. No, what bothered him was the fact that Lancel, a man believing in the Seven, seemed to enjoy talking to a man who was rumoured to be gay. The smile on his face as he discussed with him didn't lie, he was liking every minute of his talk with a mistake from Mother Nature.

"How can he?!"

"Relax, Gawain. You know Lancel, he's just trying to be nice. Smiling is part of being nice." Donnel stated

"Yeah, and it's actually very good of him to try and be nice to an ill man." Kieran added

"He'll give him the wrong ideas!" Gawain exclaimed "Either he's being too naïve and that's forgivable, or either he is actually gay! Urgh, so gross! If he is, that means he could have enjoyed watching us in a distasteful way."

"Hey, calm down, okay? Let's talk to him later, in the club. I'm sure he has an explanation." Donnel pleaded

It seemed to ease the angry young man, though the hatred in his eyes intensified when Lancel heartily laughed at one of Loras' pun.

Either Lancel was being too nice and Loras was trying to seduce him to lure him in the dark side of human kind or Lancel hid from them he was a filthy sodomite.

He hoped, for his sake, he was just being too good-hearted, or else, he'd have to deal with the matter himself.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel happily hummed a tune as he was going to his club. The afternoon had been nice, with good surprises, one of them being Loras.

"He really is a nice guy, I understand now why he has so many friends, it feels good to be near him, he's so warm and funny." He reflected as he walked through the door

However, his joy was altered as he felt numerous eyes on him. The atmosphere was tense, almost as if something big, important, even tragic had happened.

"Back so soon after your gay date?" Gawain asked

"Wh… What?" Lancel managed to reply, stuttering and taken aback

"We saw you with the Tyrell boy."

Lancel sighed of relief and laughed, much to Gawain's anger.

"No worries about that. The politics teacher forced us to work together on a project. You certainly saw us talking about it." He explained

"And exchanging numbers for?" The sparrow replied

"To be able to communicate for the project." He answered

"And the laughs were for?" Gawain inquired

"Because he's funny. Gawain, come on, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd be jealous of Loras."

His fist hit heavily on the desk, making everyone blench.

"How dare you?!" He exploded

"That was a joke, silly." Lancel tried to defend himself

"You joke about me being possibly jealous of a man because I seek your attention?! You are sick in your mind, Lancel!"

"Gawain, as Lancel said, it was just a joke, he knows you aren't like that, he was just trying to make the atmosphere better." Donnel pleaded again

"Shut up! That is not something to be joked about!"

Lancel let his bag fall loudly on the nearby table, making the furious teenager look at him in surprise. The accused didn't seem angry, though his eyes were showing he was getting upset by the whole situation.

"Look, Gawain. There is nothing romantic between Loras Tyrell and me. I won't take back what I said, he is a nice guy. We are two students, put together for a project and I am lucky enough to be paired with someone who works and who is bearable. If I hurt you with my poor attempt of a joke, I do apologize as it wasn't my intention. However, I will say it: the people I talk to, to whom I give my phone number, with who I laugh is in no way any of your concern or any of your business. So, you'd be an amazing friend if you didn't step out of your boundaries."

Gawain became white, not expecting that kind of comeback from meek and modest Lancel.

"Wow, he owned you!" Jorrel said after a few seconds of blank. "Doesn't seem like it, but he truly is Kevan Lannister's son."

Lancel plugged in the laptop the club owned and started to work on the informatics registration of the religious books the club had. However, despite trying to put his mind to rest with a repetitive task, he found himself unable to focus. Gawain had scared him. For real. He knew his friend wasn't fond of the LGBT community but his wrath at the mere suggestion, even for laughs, that he was gay was unhealthy. A part of him wanted to leave the club, he felt trapped. But at the same time, he didn't want to leave because one guy had scared him with his reaction. Perhaps it was just a bad day for him and that he didn't mean it… He could hear, behind him, some of Gawain's best friends siding with him. He didn't care. They could talk all they wanted, he was above that.

"But the Seven are good, it's a blessing they don't know that the rumours are true and that Loras is actually gay. Gods, I can't imagine what they'd do to him if they knew…"

The picture of Loras badly beaten and bloody came to his mind and he felt suddenly cold. He vowed to never let anyone know Loras preferred men. If it could prevent this tragedy, he'd even happily lie and say Loras dated lots of girls.

This feeling of uneasiness didn't leave him, even after he came home.

 **To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 4**

The following week, Loras and Lancel sat again together. They had found the classroom open, so they had entered and settled their working stuff. Lancel had been genuinely surprised to see that Loras had worked on it after the first session.

"It may be full of errors though… I'm good with facts but not with political interpretations…" He sadly stated

Lancel red it. Yes, it had mistakes here and there, but he understood what he meant.

"You know what we could do? You take the history side, I'll do the political stuff. I don't like it but I'm not bad at it." He suggested

Loras nodded and watched as Lancel took a pencil and made some notes here and there. He looked concentrated but at ease.

"He's pretty cute. Too bad he dislikes gays. But at least, he's kind enough to not push me away." The young man thought

"It's not all bad, you know." Lancel commented as he continued correcting the paper

"You plan on being a teacher?" Loras joked

"I don't really know what I want to be later on… That's a pity. My two brothers know, and they're only fourteen…"

"Lancel."

His firm voice made him look at his partner. He had a serious look on his face, something he had never seen on him. However, it suited him. It made him look more… Mature.

"I don't know what I want to do later on as well. It's okay."

He relaxed and finished his review. As he grabbed a notebook, he saw a yaoi manga in Loras' bag. The cover puzzled him. He had never seen that before. Loras seemed to notice and started to explain it was a Japanese comic with a gay couple as the center of the plot. He tried to justify himself, stating it was for Margaery.

"Loras."

He looked up to Lancel.

"Just because I believe in the Seven and just because I am part of the Sparrows doesn't mean I share my friends' views."

The young man looked confused.

"I don't dislike gays and lesbians. They have the right to live, to be there and to be happy. End of the story."

A wave of relief hit Loras has he heard these words coming out of his mouth. He enjoyed speaking with Lancel and he was afraid that he would turn out to be a homophobic person. It had really been a fear for him, because he did enjoy speaking with Lancel, he seemed to be so much more than what he appeared to be and he wanted to get to know all the aspects of him. At school, he was simply known as Joffrey's second cousin, the son of Kevan Lannister, who had found faith after he fell so ill people actually thought he was going to die. His illness had never been named at school and that remained a mystery for many. Some thought his newly found piety was fake, that he just tried to have a new reputation after he decided that Joffrey's crew wasn't the best thing for him. Loras had been in the neutral clan on that regard, not caring much about Lancel's life.

"What a fool… He needed help back then, he was alone, everyone had left him. I could have tried to be his friend, to offer a hand at least…" He regretted

"However, to be honest…' Lancel hesitated

Loras held his breath, worrying about the upcoming revelation.

"Though I do believe they have the right to be here, to be happy and that they shouldn't be hunted down, I… I have a hard time picturing two men together… Or two women…"

He really seemed ashamed of himself for confessing it. Loras could feel the conflict in him. He supported them, which was already a relief considering he was a faithful of the Seven, but he felt he was a bad person because he felt ill-at-ease trying to imagine such a relationship.

"Lancel. It's okay. Just knowing you support them is enough. There is nothing wrong in feeling ill-at-ease trying to picture two men together. That doesn't make you a homophobic scum. You don't go around taunting them, do you?" He said

"Of course not!" Lancel sounded offended

"Then, it's a-okay. And besides, I think it's more linked to your personality than a real disgust of the LGBT community. I can see you're a bit shy, awkward and modest. I'm sure you have a hard time picturing yourself with a girl as well."

He looked elsewhere, Loras had his answer.

"You're adorable." He told him

Lancel blushed. Was he trying to hit on him?

"Hey, no need to blush like a fair maiden, I am stating a fact, not trying to seduce you." Loras said, laughing

Lancel found himself smiling in return, almost chuckling. He felt he had a connexion with Loras, it felt so easy to speak with him, the subject didn't matter, its seriousness didn't matter, they could share it with no issues.

The teacher arrived way too soon for his taste.

 _XXXXX_

"Ah, Lancel! Just the man I wanted to see!" Gawain greeted happily as Lancel entered the club

"Someone's in a good mood." He thought

Though he also thought something was off. He seemed fake.

"You know, I've seen you again with that Tyrell boy."

"Gawain…"

"No, let me finish, it's fine, it really is. Because I know you're with us, you're a part of the club, you love it, you dedicate yourself to it, and you will certainly be with us in our project."

The young man raised an eyebrow. Something really was fishy about this.

"Some of us are going to teach those degenerates a lesson, to make them understand that their way isn't the right way."

"You mean you want to beat them up."

"You make it sound so crude and horrible! We just want to be good and teach them that we are right and they're not. Sometimes, to create something holy, you have to go the unholy way. You're with us, right?" Gawain explained, taking Lancel by the shoulder

"Have you lost your mind?!" Lancel exclaimed, breaking the embrace

Gawain seemed confused when he saw Lancel's green eyes filled with anger and shock.

"This is against the law! You could get us all in jail, just for having listened to it! This club could be closed down because of this! You have the right to think they're wrong, but you can't harass them because you dislike them, they didn't do anything to you!"

"I told you he'd chickened out. That Loras turned his brain upside down." Graham said

"Sorry that I value my freedom and the fact that this club exists! And leave Loras out of this!" Lancel argued

Donnel nodded, only to get death stared by four other sparrows.

"I am willing to play deaf today only if you swear to abandon that folly of yours! Because, I swear it, by all that is sacred and holy, if you raise a hand on a member of the LGBT community, I will tell the police about it! Not because I want to save my ass, but because my conscience orders me so!"

"You're right… That's a bad idea, you raise some good points. Let's forget it." Gawain stated

Lancel thought it was too easy, too good to be true.

"But Gawain…" Jorrel complained

"No, Lancel's right, that was a stupid idea."

Lancel didn't feel the dark glare on his back Gawain was giving him though, trying to forget about the incident.

"You'll pay for this, fag! I swear it on the Warrior! Just you wait!" He silently swore

 **To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 5**

The sun was shining bright when Lancel entered into the empty club and he was in a good mood. He had finished the informatics registration of the club's library, he had managed to create an article so that it could be added to the school's website, he even had some people questioning him about it, as they were interested to join. His head was filled with ideas to make the club more attractive and comfier. With the school's approval, he had created some flyers and all he had to do was to print them and put them in the main hall, near the posters for the other clubs. He really enjoyed administrating all this, it made him feel part of something, it made him feel useful, it made him feel as if he was helping others. He took out his USB key and started the printer. He had asked Loras about the design, he wanted something sober but that still felt young and modern. The faith of the Seven still had the image of being old, something for close-minded people. The Tyrell had shared great ideas and Lancel loved the results. It was fresh, modern, young but serious at the same time. He folded them properly and went to put them in the hall. He could feel the wave of the satisfaction of a work well done. He felt proud.

"Hi Lancel."

He turned to face the voice.

"Oh, hi Graham."

"Cool flyers, dude."

Lancel smiled, thanking him.

"Gawain asked if you could meet him at the club."

Lancel seemed confused. It was a Friday and the clubs were closed on that day. He had a pass because he had the authorization of the headmaster and Gawain never ever showed up at the club on Fridays. On Fridays, he quickly left school, too excited at the idea of being on weekend, able to play video games until 4.00 am.

"Something is wrong, I can feel it… But I can't really say no, can I? They know my schedule and I promised Loras to meet him at 3.30 pm for the project…"

He asked if something happened, explaining his surprise at Gawain being still in school at this hour.

"He feels awful for the arguments you two had lately, he realized you were right and he wanted to apologize, in private."

Lancel didn't buy it one bit. But still, it could be just his imagination, the Crone could have given Gawain wisdom, he had to give him a chance. He nodded and followed him. Gawain wasn't alone however, much to his surprise. With him, Jorrel, Lohren, Zeke… And they all looked scary. His uneasiness increased when he heard Graham closing the door behind him and locking it up. He noticed, from the corner of his eye, something that seemed heavy. He couldn't really tell what it was, it was in the shadows and quite far from his sight but he knew this wouldn't be used for a good purpose.

"You are a clever man, you must have understood why you're here now." Gawain started

Lancel mentally admitted he didn't. He knew this wasn't going to be pretty but he had no idea why he was in such a place.

"Not so clever however, hanging out with a rumoured gay man." He added

"Loras isn't gay." Lancel lied

"Here you go, protecting him again. It's not the fact that you are fond of gays that bothers me, it's the fact that you are one." The man stated

"I beg your pardon?!" The accused exclaimed, shocked. "That's ridiculous! I've dated girls and you know it!"

"Yes, you dated one girl. Amerei Frey. Speak of a girl… Quite a slut."

"Don't you dare speak of Amerei like that! She has nothing but respect for us all! She was the first one to not laugh when she caught me praying! She is the one that suggested the headmaster to open our club! She is a great woman and she deserves to be respected! Yes, she loves carnal intercourses, so? Some people like needlework, others like painting, she likes that, no big deal!" Lancel exploded

"But you never slept with her."

"How does my sexual life clean me from your accusations?! I'm doomed anyway! I say we did it, I'll be seen as a sinner for having sex with someone before marriage. Or because I slept with someone considered easy. I say no, you will claim it is a proof that I am gay."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"I don't have to tell you about my sexual past."

Gawain sighed.

"That's too bad, Lancel. Really. You betrayed us by hiding your true nature but it came out because you protected that little friend of yours. We don't like people like you very much around here."

He snapped his fingers, his minions took some iron rods and came to him. Lancel didn't even tried to back away. He knew he couldn't escape what was coming, though it didn't make it any less painful. All he could feel through his numbness was his heart breaking.

His friends had become his foes for something that never existed and he couldn't win them back, they were too lost in their chimera.

He didn't have a place where he belonged anymore.

He was all alone again.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel was never late. And if he feared he was going to be late, he always sent a message, apologizing. Loras hadn't worried too much when ten minutes had passed. He knew Lancel had to do club related things and perhaps he met someone, perhaps the headmaster wanted to talk to him, after all, he was quite involved and he played a good part in the life of his association. Loras enjoyed Lancel more and more and he could almost even call him a friend. He cared, he tried, and there was that shy and awkward side of him that made him look adorable. Not that he was interested but that was never a waste.

When half an hour passed, he thought he was pranking him for the time he arrived super late for a work session.

When an hour passed, he was genuinely scared. It wasn't like him to be so late without any word. He decided to go and check the club, perhaps he was still there and hadn't noticed, caught up in his work. That could be an explanation, when Lancel was focused on a task, he could forget everything around him. He found the door unlocked but with the lights turned off.

"That's strange…" He thought

He entered and froze, as if he couldn't believe the scene under his eyes. Then the horror spread in his being as he rushed to the main subject of that morbid painting.

Lancel was laying on the floor, unconscious, his mouth slightly opened. His shirt had been ripped and it seemed he had been kicked several times, considering he was curled in a ball. His nose didn't seem broken but blood was dripping from it. His face seemed untouched, however it was clear he had been badly beaten as some bruises were already starting to show, and with the shape, it was certain the person who did it was armed. If the face had been left alone, his head wasn't so lucky, as his blond hair was dirtied with blood. His trousers and underwear had been pulled down and his legs, especially his tights had been hurt, there were even some cuts here and there. But what horrified Loras the more was the presence of a bottle near him and the fact that it was near Lancel's behind. And his behind seemed bruised as well, there was a thin trail of blood flowing down from the hole. Loras found himself shivering and it was with a shaky hand than he had the reflex to check for a pulse. It was faint but he could feel it. Lancel was alive, by some kind of miracle. He felt like crying but tried to control himself, tears wouldn't help a severely hurt young man. What scared him beyond belief was Lancel not responding to his voice, to his touch and if it wasn't for his pulse and the small breathing he could feel on his skin, he would believe he was keeping company to a corpse.

"Bloody Hell, Lancel… Who did that to you?! Why?!"

Trying to ease his shakiness, he took his phone and called the emergencies. He didn't know how he managed to explain, in a clear voice, that he had found someone unconscious and severely hurt in a high school club. He didn't know how he managed to say he was fine, how he managed to ask to accompany him to the hospital. Once sat in the ambulance, he couldn't hear anything around him anymore, he didn't hear them calling Lancel's family, he didn't hear the siren howling the streets, his entire being was focused on Lancel, on his pale and almost ghostly face, holding his hand that seemed way too cold. He couldn't even feel his own fear.

He only knew one thing:

He didn't want Lancel to die.

 **To Be Continued**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 6**

Loras had relunctantly let go of Lancel's hand when they had reached the hospital. He looked at his laying form, taken away for examination and treatment and he had the nagging feeling he'd never see him awake again. He missed his laughter already, the way his eyes could sparkle with joy, the wave of love that showed when he spoke of his siblings, the way he could frown when he was focusing on something hard, the fact that he refused to use abridged language for his messages, his soft voice when he tried to comfort someone… He missed his entire being already and Lancel wasn't even dead.

"They attacked him because of me…" He thought

He was no fool, he realized, when he saw that bloody bottle that had certainly been used to rape Lancel, that he had been attacked just because they were friends. A devout and a gay couldn't be friends… Human kind didn't evolve at all. He felt like breaking into tears but he restrained himself when he saw Lancel's family arriving. A doctor took them apart to give them a summary of the situation. He didn't expect to be invited to listen.

"You brought him in, you have the right to know." He declared

Dorna gave Loras a grateful smile, the best she could manage in her state of stress and fear. Suddenly, the question of Lancel being possibly gay popped up, much to Kevan's annoyance. He didn't see what it had to do with his son being brought in.

"He isn't. But I am. And we are friends." Loras explained, cutting short to the wonder

"That would explain certain injuries and validate the homophobic attack."

Martyn suggested to take Janei out, and his parents understood he didn't want her to hear big words that could be scary. She was three but she was smart enough. Janei obeyed and gave him her hand so that they could check out the area the nurses had set up for children. Then, the doctor started the list of Lancel's wounds. He had a concussion due to being hit on the head. However, he had been lucky, despite the blood, there was no brain damage and it would heal easily. Apart from possible headaches the first weeks, he didn't risk anything, though he could take time before he would wake up. He had two broken ribs and one broken wrist, several ecchymosis, a sprain ankle. The worst part of the list was an anal tear, a rather serious one, due to an object certainly inserted without Lancel's will. It had been so violent they feared some internal damages. He seemed to have tried to fight back, causing more damages and bruises. Loras felt tears threatening to burn his eyes and he couldn't help picturing the scene in his head. A fighting and frightened Lancel, outnumbered and helpless. Kevan had taken his wife's hand and gently clamped it.

"It's my fault… I call myself his friends, but are we even friends? We get on well, but are we friends? And even if we were, I doomed him… Just like before… I must be cursed…" Loras thought

When the doctor finished his review, stating he had good hopes that Lancel would recover well and that most of the exams were done to make sure everything else was okay, Willem left to join Martyn. Janei was looking at the pictures from a child's book, near her, there was her Squirtle plushie. Kevan had to go for all the papers that needed to be filled, leaving Dorna alone with Loras.

"Thank you, for saving my son's life." She told him

He sadly shook his head in a negative answer.

"I didn't do anything. It's my fault he was attacked in the first place."

"You are Loras, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"Lancel told us a lot about you, he cares about you a lot. And seeing how you care as well, I am glad he found a good friend."

A ghost of a smile was born on his face as she declared that her son saw him as a friend. That he told her about him, that he wasn't ashamed and hid they were working together. About two hours later, Lancel was transported to a room where he could wake up at ease and slowly.

"Will, why won't Lany wake up?" Janei asked innocenctly

Loras' heart broke when he heard her. How could anyone explain to a little girl that her eldest brother wouldn't wake up because he had been attacked by people who disliked his friends? However, Willem seemed to have found a way, as he kneeled to her level.

"You remember when you had the flu?" He asked

She nodded

"You were very tired and you slept a lot, didn't you?"

She nodded again.

"Well, it's the same with Lancel. He has owies that make him sleep a lot."

She seemed to understand and went back to colouring a princess. Loras looked as Lancel was set up in his bed. For a brief moment, it wasn't him he saw. It was Renly. They shared the same paleness, the same appearance of fragility, the only difference being that Lancel's life wasn't in danger. There weren't any cables connecting his arm to a machine.

 _XXXXX_

" _Renly, run!" Loras screamed as he tried to restrain an armed man_

 _Renly refused and tried to protect him from someone who was attacking him from behind. How did it end up like this? It had been a great day, the sun was bright, all they did were just hanging out together, holding hands and strolling in the streets, looking at what the shops had to offer. They hadn't bothered anyone, yet it seemed that their mere presence was a nuisance for some of them. They had been followed and cornered in a dark alley. They were six against two, knives against fists. He had heard a shout of pain and he saw Renly collapsing on the floor before the darkness took him as well._

 _When he woke up, he was in a bed, in the nearest hospital, and the nurse was removing the cables that linked Renly to a machine, a sad expression on her face. He had wanted to tell her to put them back, there was still hope, Renly couldn't possibly be dead! He had tried to get up to stop her, she was killing him, not helping him! It was only when he regained his full consciousness that he realized that the electrocardiogram was flat, that he noticed the plates of the defibrillator were out and had been used._

 _Renly was gone._

 _XXXXX_

He hadn't noticed a tear was rolling down his cheek. He didn't want to lose Lancel the way he lost Renly. He wasn't in love with Lancel but he did enjoy his company, he had grown very fond of him. And even if the doctors said he would be fine, it hurt him to see him the way he saw Renly for the last time.

"They trapped him, they attacked him, they certainly stopped when he passed out, I hope they did… But the worst part is… Gods, they raped him… Just because he befriended a gay man… They weren't trying to be subtle, it was their motive… Oh Lancel…"

He wiped it away. Tears wouldn't help.

Later, he offered his family to watch over him while they'd eat, an offer they accepted. Loras sat by his bed. It was already 8.00 pm. Despite being young and certainly tired, Janei didn't act up and remained calm and polite. A true little lady. He could understand why Lancel loved her so much. He seemed deeply asleep, his breathing sounded normal, that brought him some comfort. Around 8.15 pm, a moan startled him, Lancel was slightly moving and sounded in pain. Loras almost jumped from his chair, hanging to his every action, his eyes set on his friend. He slowly opened his emerald eyes and the first thing he saw was Loras's relief and bright smile.

"Loras?"

His voice was weak and uneasy but almost happy to see him again. Loras didn't mind. It didn't matter, only one thing mattered right now.

Lancel was alive.

 **To Be Continued**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 7**

"Loras?"

Loras' face was painted with relief and softness.

"You certainly scared us all, Lancel!" He tried to joke, his voice a bit shaking with emotion

He tried to take his hand but Lancel suddenly backed away, a look of worry and fright in his eyes.

"Hey…" Loras tried

"Don't… They attacked me because of you…" He managed to say, sounding on the verge of tears, shaking of fear

To say it didn't sting would have been lying, because it did. His words felt like sharp knives plunged right in his chest, right where his heart was. It was partly true, he had been attacked because of him, he admitted it, but to hear him saying so was like a slap in the face. Seeing the hurt look on his face, Lancel realized his cruelty and was filled with guilt.

"I… I'm sorry…" He whispered

"Don't be. It's true. They touched you because I befriended you."

Loras could see himself months ago, laying in a similar bed, saying to a policeman it was his fault Renly died, he didn't intervene fast enough. Lancel was just like him, he was hurting, lost, broken, and he needed to put the blame on something while it was still fresh. He didn't mind. Lancel could insult him all he wanted the first days. He wasn't in any condition to think properly.

"Lancel, who did that to you?"

He never answered the question and Loras could feel it was someone close, or else, it wouldn't hurt Lancel so much. He offered his hand again. That time, he took it without any fear.

"The doctors said you should heal well. Don't worry about a thing, I'll take care of the school stuff." He said, trying to change the subject

Lancel only nodded, still mortified by what he had told him. His mind was racing. What happened was not a dream. It did happen. Gawain and the others tricked him and they… He didn't even want to think about what happened next. Loras noticed his look and felt pain for him. He knew what it was like. It broke his heart to see him like this. When Lancel started to shiver, he decided to try a new way to cheer him up. Or at least to calm him down. He was going to hurt himself even more.

"Your family is here. They are downstairs, trying to eat something. Janei is even cuter in flesh. She even brought the Squirtle you won for her."

Finally, a smile came to his lips, though it was unsure and shaky. He continued on the same subject, on how Janei compared him to Sleeping Beauty, waiting for a prince to wake him up, a growing passion for unicorns. Slowly, Lancel seemed to relax, he even had a few laughs. He even let Loras help him getting sited the best he could handle.

"Once you're better, you could come over. I have some series and games you might like."

Lancel nodded. The idea of spending an entire afternoon with Loras delighted him more than he would have imagined. He felt grateful that he tried to see him as a man and not as a broken thing. He certainly was, it was true, and if he saw how hurt Loras was for him, he tried to look at him as an equal, and not down in pity. It was a clumsy attempt, but he liked it. To think he dared tell him he was responsible for his misery when he provided him with kindness and happiness.

"Loras… What I said… I didn't mean it… I'm sorry…You said it's true but it isn't… They didn't do that because of you…"

Loras tightened his grip on his hand. He had a soft smile. Lancel felt better. He knew he was forgiven. Perhaps Loras wasn't even mad to begin with.

The door opened on his parents and the relief they felt when they saw their son alive and awake was palpable. Dorna rushed to him and hugged him tight. Loras got up and decided to let them reunite. As his hand left his, Lancel tried to grip it again, extending his fingers, to no avail. Despite being with his parents, whom he loved very much, the fact that Loras wasn't by his side anymore made his fear rushing back and his eyes followed him until he couldn't see him any longer. He had his mother and his father and yet, it was Loras he sought for company and for the feeling of safety. He knew that wasn't a normal reaction.

And perhaps it was the fact that he needed Loras so badly that scared him the most.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel came home four days after being admitted, as the doctors wanted to keep an eye on him, just in case. Janei had even left him her Squirtle, so that he wouldn't feel too lonely. Loras didn't come to visit him and Lancel could understand, he tried to put himself in his shoes, trying to imagine the roller coaster of emotions. He needed time to rest as well. But he missed him like crazy and yearned for his presence, even for five minutes, much to his confusion. When he was around, everything felt clear and plain, when he wasn't, it was the utmost confusion.

Despite people trying to get him to talk about what happened and who did it, he had remained mute. He didn't want to protect the people who hurt him, he just didn't want to think about it anymore and speaking would hurt too much. How could they not understand such an obvious thing?! The doctors had told his family that his silence was a natural reaction, it was a way of protecting himself, though the bad side could be that he could never be able to express his feelings about what happened, leading to depression and perhaps worse.

"What do they think, that I want to kill myself?! I would never do that to my parents! They waited sixteen years before they had me! Sixteen years during which they went from hopes to disappointment, countless medical appointments, they even believed they'd never be able to have a child and it's when they were on the verge of letting it go that they had me! Killing myself, it's killing their efforts to be parents…" He angrily wondered

His father had thought of making him change schools but in the end, he had let the idea drop. He heard him talking about it with his mother, he feared it would have been too much in too little time.

"He already suffered from such a trauma, in his state, he needs landmarks and that school is one of them." He had explained

"And besides, Loras attends the same school." His mother added

"Yes, he'll have Loras. And even if it isn't their role to protect him, knowing his brothers go to the same school could help too."

On that Tuesday night, Kevan had been reluctant to go to work, his mind still worried about Lancel, but his wife eased him. He was home, he was safe and she was with him. And as Kevan checked his phone, greeted by a picture of his four children in the background, he swore to himself that the bastards who dared do such a thing to his baby boy would pay.

Lannisters weren't the only ones who paid their debts.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel had been quickly put to the floor. He didn't fight back, it was just punches and kicks, it would end soon, that was what he wanted to believe.

"Yank these things down, let's see how he is down there!"

That was humiliating and degrading and he could feel tears burning in his eyes but he remained strong. They'd have a look, joke, perhaps kick some more, believing kicking him would kick the gay out of him. He'd face this beating up with dignity. What could he do? He was alone against many.

"For fuck sake, he's bigger than I am!"

The boys looked at him and they all realized their victim was bigger than them. Not that Lancel felt any comfort, pride or revenge knowing that.

"Let's see if it's loose behind! I'm sure it must be!"

When Lancel saw the bottle, he understood in a silent horror what they were about to do. Of course, they would never dare do that with their own manhoods, too gay for them, but inserting objects seemed just fine… He couldn't let that happen, he didn't want that to happen! He could accept being a punching-ball, however he couldn't accept becoming a rape victim! Anything but that! He had started to fight back but Gawain ordered his men to hold him pinned against the floor. He had managed to give a kick on someone's face as they tried to hold his legs.

"Bastard broke my nose!"

It earnt him more kicks and he could feel the blood flowing from his nose before a terrible and sharp pain spread from his behind. He could hear the laughs around him and he bit his lips, eyes shut, trying not to cry, he wouldn't give them that satisfaction! They pushed the object even further, making him scream in agony…

His eyes opened wide in one swift move and the walls of the club disappeared to let his bedroom replace it. He sat on his bed, sweating, catching his breath. Next to him, on a bedside, Janei's squirtle.

"Lancel, honey, are you okay?" His mother said as she entered. "I heard you screaming." She added as she saw his look of confusion

"I'm sorry… Did I wake Janei?"

Dorna shook her head, Janei was sleeping tight. She sat by his side.

"It was just a bad dream, Mom… You can go to sleep…"

She simply smiled and stated she wanted to stay a bit with him, inviting him to tell her, only if he felt like it, of course. However, she didn't expect her son to start crying.

"I swear to you Mom, I didn't want what happened… I didn't let them just do it… I fought, I…"

She hugged him close, feeling him hugging her back, his tears soaking her shoulder. It felt reassuring for her, feeling his warmth. To think some people had wanted to take that away from her… She couldn't understand why. She gently caressed his hair.

"Honey, I know you didn't. You did all you could. It wasn't your fault."

Just like she did so many years ago and so many times, she watched her firstborn child getting back to sleep after a nightmare.

She remained with him the entire night.

 **To Be Continued**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 8**

As he was facing the school again, Lancel felt a wave of nausea coming from his throat. He had been away for a total of a month and a half, between his trip to the hospital, the several treatments he had to go through and the fact that the mere idea of going back genuinely made him sick. He felt his brothers taking his hands, one each.

"Do you want us to go with you?" Willem carefully asked

The fact that he looked serious was almost scary to his elder brother. Willem was energetic, carefree, and he was looking at him with the seriousness of their father. Lancel shook his head in a negative response.

"It's something I have to do alone… And besides, it's not your job to babysit me. Go and meet your friends. I'll be fine." He said

"You babysitted us for years. We can take care of you in return." Willem argued

Lancel only smiled and his brothers went off, however the turned back once, to see if he really was okay. He hadn't warned Loras about his return. He wanted to face that alone, to prove himself he could do it. Taking a deep breath, he entered the building. He wasn't surprised to hear gossips behind his back. He was used to it though it was unpleasant. And what happened to him was quite the story. His feet led him to his club, where he entered, a knot in his stomach.

"Hi Lancel!" Donnel happily greeted as Lancel smiled at him, thankful

"What are you doing here?" Gawain coldly declared

Seeing Lancel's confusion, he said:

"You're not welcome here anymore. We don't need someone like you here."

Donnel seemed about to protest but Lancel prevented him to do so, much to the youngest member of the club's sadness. He could feel his heart breaking again at the confirmation that he had lost one of the only places he felt home. His head high, looking at his rapist in the eye, his voice firm, he simply asked:

"Can I, at least, take back what is mine?"

His aura of pride and strength surprised Gawain. He was stuck. That was in the rules, Lancel had that right. He stepped aside and Lancel gathered what he had left behind. He quickly patted Donnel's shoulder and left without a word. However, once he was out, he had a retch. He made his way to the bathroom, locked himself in a closet, and once he was sure no one was around to hear, he allowed the little portion of breakfast he had escaping his mouth. He could feel tears in his eyes. A part of him wanted to take his phone, to call Loras for help. But he realized that it wouldn't help. What could Loras do? And besides, he didn't want him to see him that way, so… Weak. He had seen him thus once and that was once too many. And to be perfectly honest with himself, he started to wonder if the others weren't right. He wasn't thinking he deserved what happened to him, no one deserved such a fate. However, they were right. There was something between him and Loras, though he had fought hard to deny it. What he felt, that wasn't friendship. That was more. And there was attraction in that confusing mix. He felt drawn to a man. When he was home, recovering, whenever he received a message from Loras, a mail, even if it was to fill him in with the classes he had missed, he could feel his lips stretching in a smile, the thought of him made him happy. And the way he reacted at the hospital, trying to grab his hand again, that void he had felt, that wasn't a thing a friend would feel for his pal.

"I like him, it's true. But… Do I love him? It can't be. I'm not gay. I've dated a girl before. And even if it didn't work out, I have loved her."

They were right. He had lied to them. Perhaps he deserved to be kicked out and left alone, friendless.

Perhaps it was simply his fate.

He didn't want to believe such a sad story. He didn't want to be alone, not again. He let it go. He needed Loras, it didn't matter if he saw him in tears like a little kid, without him, he wouldn't even go out of that place. He took his phone and sent a message, hoping for the best.

 _XXXXX_

When Loras saw he had a message from Lancel, his spirit was lifted. He prayed he was finally back. Politics classes were so dull without him! However, when he read it, he felt a sting in his heart. Though the message was properly written, he could feel something was off. Lancel would have never asked to meet him in the bathroom.

Lancel…

To think he didn't like him at first, nicknaming him the Lannister priest… In a very short time, he had managed to become so much more to him, almost essential. He was a great friend, but Loras felt he was more to him than just that. He was falling for him, he could feel it. The scare he had when he found him, their moment at the hospital, had opened his eyes. He wasn't sure he was in love yet, but he did feel something for him.

"So early after Renly's death… When I swore it, when the sun has set, no candles can replace it… I know Renly would want me happy but his killer has just been jailed and I am already thinking of another man…"

When he entered the bathroom, Lancel was here, out of the cabin, his back against the wall, arms crossed and head down. It raised when he heard the door opening. Loras could see he had been crying and he was so pale he guessed he was feeling ill. He felt horrible for him, he longed to see him smiling again.

"Loras…"

Loras smiled at him, causing Lancel to break down in tears in his arms, much to his surprise. He noticed, in his bag, some objects that he had seen in the club. He understood. He stood there, in silence, trying to comfort him by his presence. When Lancel calmed down, he told him he needed to speak to him, later, when he felt better. Lancel agreed.

"Let's say after school, at Starbucks? My treat." He offered

"I don't like coffee…" Lancel awkwardly answered

"They have chocolate."

Lancel tried his best not to respond the Anna way, even though he was a chocolate lover. Janei had been into Frozen lately and she had him watch the story of the Arendelle sisters so many times he could quote the entire movie by heart.

 _XXXXX_

The first minutes had been painful and awkward as none of them were talking, enjoying their drinks. Lancel set back his cup on the table after a sip and said:

"I never thanked you for saving me."

"Well, now you just did."

"No, I didn't. Loras, thank you for saving my life."

"Don't mention it."

Silence took its place again. Loras tried to break it.

"I wanted us to talk… About us."

Lancel nodded.

"I don't know if it is the same for you, but I don't think what we have is a simple friendship."

"I agree… I feel the same way."

"You do?"

Loras was surprised and almost seemed hopeful.

"I don't know what it is, all I know is that it is stronger than friendship, that I care about you more than I'd care for a friend."

"I'll be honest. I feel almost the same way. I feel something for you. I like you, Lancel."

Lancel could feel his cheeks warming up. Then, he realized what it could mean. Loras preferred men, and he just told him he liked him. Was he… Coming up on him? Was Loras trying to say he was in love with him and wanted to be with him? He knew it was stupid to react that way, as Loras had nothing to do with what happened to him, but he felt that it would give his rapists the final word and the worst: that they were right from the start and thus, it justified the fact that they attacked him.

"Lancel."

Loras' voice made him come down to Earth.

"I know that look. You're scared. And considering what you went through in my name, it's natural."

"You are not responsible for what they did to me."

"Yet, they did that using my name as an excuse."

He could feel Lancel drifting away, coming back to that day, he had shivered slightly after he had told him he liked him. He would not allow that. He gripped his hand.

"I am not asking you to date me. We can remain friends, just like we are now, if it feels easier for you."

"What if I am not in love with you?"

The thought of losing Loras for good was scaring him.

"Friendship remains." He replied

Lancel seemed eased as his expression softened. Loras raised his cup.

"To our friendship."

"To our friendship." Lancel repeated, making his cup hitting Loras'

He wasn't going to be alone anymore.

Never again.

 **To Be Continued**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 9**

A nice surprise occurred for Lancel a few days after he was forced to leave the club. He had received a message from Donnel. Lancel wondered how he got his number but that was a detail, he was glad he could keep in touch with him. Donnel was who they called "the baby Sparrow" as he was the youngest member of the club. He was a little genius, who passed several classes, arriving in high school aged twelve. He was bullied because he was a classic nerd, shy, well-mannered, easily intimidated and pious. Lancel had took an immediate liking on him, as he reminded him of his own little brothers, who were going to turn fifteen soon. He was the one who introduced him to the club, he had taken him under his wing and it had been a pleasure, Donnel being a sweet boy. One time, he had even confessed to Lancel he looked up to him like the brother he never had. It had touched him beyond words. Lancel just hoped that, now that he was out and seen as a vile creature, it wouldn't fall back on Donnel.

 _Some people really were against what happened, we learnt after they did it, but they have the upper hand. Hope you're okay. I'm so sorry I didn't do anything…_

Lancel had tried to ease him but he did seem filled with guilt. He just replied his affection for him didn't change. Unlike the one he had for Loras. The Tyrell had remained true to his word and he had remained inside the boundaries of friendship, much to Lancel's gratitude. He had been there for him everytime, even when he felt like breaking down, when his demons came back. Fortunately, Gawain and the others left him in peace, something he understood. He was now a soiled man, so of course they wouldn't come near him. But he could feel people's eyes on him, he heard the whispers, their pity, or their mockery and it hurt. Loras always found the words to ease him.

"Hey, Lancel!"

He turned to face a smiling Loras.

"I was thinking, since the days are getting hot, you could come over some time. We have a pool. And no, you're not forced to come inside the pool if you don't feel like it. It will be only you, me and Margaery."

Lancel considered the offer, it seemed nice.

"I'll ask my parents first."

Loras nodded, it was only fair he asked them.

"If Willem and Martyn want to come, they are more than welcome. I'd invite Janei too but pools and toddlers…" Loras suggested

"Well, in the ideal situation, we'd be five grown-ups for one baby girl, I think it could be fine. And she'd love your sister, she'd think she's a princess." Lancel replied

"Now, don't say that to Marge, she'll think it's real." Loras teased making Lancel laugh

Hearing him, Gawain only glared.

"I so want to flip the bird at him." He whispered to his ear

"Go ahead."

"In front of the teachers? Man, you do love to live dangerously!"

Lancel laughed even more and Gawain's upset face helped a lot. He would never let him know how broken he made him. That was prideful but delectable.

 _XXXXX_

Kevan and Dorna immediately gave Lancel their blessing for the pool afternoon and the twins were more than happy to join. What made Lancel feel proud beyond words was the fact that his parents trusted them with Janei, as she had been allowed to join as well. It was a warm hot Saturday, no cloud could be spotted in the bright blue sky. It was Loras who opened the door and his joy of seeing them was genuine.

"Hi Lory!" Janei greeted with a huge smile

"Hey Janei! Looks like you brought lots of toys!"

She nodded. Everyone got quickly changed and went to the pool. Martyn and Willem dived in without needing to be pushed to it. Loras had even arranged for Janei to be able to have fun as well without being endangered. Lancel didn't join them though, preferring to watch, at least for the start, under the sunshade. The sound of the laughter coming from his siblings made him smile before he got lost in his thoughts. Loras was wearing a green speedo with some yellow stripes on each side. It was the first time he saw him with so little clothes on. He was way different than what he had imagined. He always saw him as a bit frail, like him, however he was slightly built. He seemed to tan easily as he seemed already sun kissed. It suited him well. He also had the start of a beard, as he hadn't shaved for a few days. He looked, well… Manly. He couldn't help but compare him to himself. They were about the same size but when Loras looked like a man, Lancel suddenly felt like a little boy. He had tried to grow a beard once too, but due to his complexion and his blond hair, it looked more like something to scrub than a beard. Once it was safe for him to do so, he shaved it off and ever since, he had been pretty content with being almost a beardless man. He wasn't as muscular as Loras was.

"Would he even like someone built like me?" He wondered before he horrified himself

He had checked out a man. He had wondered if his own body would please a man. He wanted to be beautiful in the eyes of a man. That scared him. He preferred girls. He had dated Amerei and he had been genuine. So why?

"Enjoying the view?" Margaery teased as she sat next to Lancel, bringing drinks

"I don't see what you're talking about."

She had an amused smile, he was so obvious with his defensive response.

"Loras told me a bit about you two."

He glared at her.

"No worries, he remained in the rough outlines. He was worried about you. I thought I could help."

"And how could you help?" Lancel asked, trying not to sound rude.

"I've seen the way you look at Loras. It's okay."

"I know it's okay to be gay."

"I am not talking about being gay. I know you aren't. You dated a girl before and from what I have been able to see in your time together, you were genuinely in love. You looked at her the way you look at Loras today."

"Then, how can you say it's okay?"

"Because it's called being bisexual."

Bisexual? Lancel knew the word, he knew its definition but it got him to wonder. It was true that sometimes, like every man he assumed, his eyes wandered on some girls he found attractive or pretty. It didn't really change, though it didn't occur lately with everything that happened to him. And now, his eyes were on Loras just as naturally as they were on Amerei once. Perhaps that was why he seemed so confused. He could be bisexual, it could explain so much actually.

"Some men like women, some men like men and some men like both sides. That doesn't make you a freak."

"I am not in love with your brother."

Margaery laughed, she could see why Loras loved Lancel so much, he was just so touching in his naivety.

"It's not about love, it's about attraction. You can be attracted to someone without having any feelings for him or her. It's called finding someone hot and it's natural too. It shows you're sane."

"It's awkward that you are giving me the talk…"

"Oh dear, I'm just updating your talk. I know what it's like, I am bisexual myself."

Lancel looked at Loras as he dived in. What was he feeling for Loras? Was it friendship? Was it physical attraction added to that? Was he in love with him? He had no clue. All he knew was he was drawn to him, he liked him and he made him happy.

"Come on guys, plenty of time for chit chat later, when you need to dry!" Willem shouted

Lancel got up and launched himself in the warm water.

 _XXXXX_

Sadly, the weather turned into a summer storm, something that was expected due to the heat peaks that occurred. The little group went back inside, got dry and Margaery put on some cartoons for Janei.

"You have never seen Tangled? But Janei, the princess looks just like you!" Margaery told the little girl

"Like me! I wanna see!"

Lancel went to see Loras, who was changing in his room. He was shirtless.

"Sorry..."

"You know, technically, I've seen your private parts, so it's okay for you to see me shirtless."

Lancel blushed at that mention.

"Just teasing you. You need something?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

The Tyrell invited him to sit on his bed.

"You remember, what you told me after I came back to school?" He carefully asked

"How could I forget?"

"Margaery talked to me..."

"If you were unwell, I'm sorry…"

"No, it's fine, it was nice actually, it's just… She made me realize that I'll never be able to deny what I feel for you. I don't know what it is, I don't even know what I am, all I know is that I like you, I am drawn to you and you make me happy…"

Loras gently took his hand, feeling how hard it was for him to try and put words on things that were confused in his own head.

"If you want, maybe…"

"I can be your boyfriend in testing."

Lancel looked up to him, he was feeling bad for Loras, using the words to define a substitute.

"Hey, it's okay, it can be fun. I don't take it badly. We can try. At your pace."

"Your boyfriend was lucky to have you."

"And I am lucky to have had him. And now you."

He allowed himself to bring Lancel closer to him and to kiss his forehead. To his surprise, he didn't back away, instead he closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying it. As they walked downstairs, hand in hand, Janei was in love with Princess Rapunzel.

"Now I know what to buy for her birthday." Lancel joked

 _XXXXX_

Joffrey Baratheon was fuming with rage. He heard Lancel's former friends and he understood now why they had raped him. They were right but it seemed he hadn't been fucked roughly enough. There were rumors about Loras Tyrell and Lancel Lannister going steady.

"After he dated a known slut… Gosh, he does crave attention!"

He saw Lancel's brothers and went to them.

"How does it feel to have a fag in the family?" He asked

Martyn only glared.

"It feel fa-bu-lous! It is so great to have a nice brother-in-law at our age, we don't have to wait for Janei to grow up and date!" Willem sarcastically answered

"Doesn't it make you sick to know your brother fucks with a man?! Gods, he has his dick in his ass!"

"Why do you think Lancel is the one getting anally fucked? He could be the one fucking Loras for all we care. And we're proud that Lancel is with someone who cares about him." Martyn added

"But…"

"You are so poor, Joffrey."

The twins left him, Joffrey glaring at them.

His great-uncle Kevan's sons were a disgrace to the Lannister name.

It genuinely made him feel sick to his stomach.

 **To Be Continued**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 10**

If there was one thing Joffrey couldn't stand, it was being defied. He was a superior being, his mother always told him he was a special snowflake, he knew better and that was why he was so hated, it was because the truth always hurt, it was always unpleasant. As he brought the truth, of course people would dislike him. But he was doing them a favor, though they didn't know. He considered himseld a generous man. Lancel's brothers had defied him by declaring themselves on the side of their sick fag sibling. They had defied him by insulting him, his intelligence. They liked fags? He'd give them fags! He was a good man however and he would give them one last chance. He just hoped they'd refuse. That way, he could enjoy some humiliation.

Martyn and Willem were walking down the hallway, ready to leave school as the day was over for them. However, both felt uneasy. Martyn woke up with a bad feeling and Willem had the impression he was spied on ever since he entered the school. When he saw Joffrey, teaming up with a bunch of thugs, he sighed, realizing that, sadly, both his twin and him were right.

"Martyn. Willem." Joffrey greeted

"Joffrey." Martyn replied, glaring at the crowd

Joffrey took them a bit afar, seeming amiable, a smile on his face.

"The last time we spoke, I realized that I might have jumped on you on the heat of the shock. Discovering that the brother you used to look up to was nothing more but a dirty gay, it must have been awful and you certainly were in denial." He said sweetly, so sweetly it was almost sickening

Martyn seemed on the verge on replying before Joffrey cut him:

"No, no, let me finish, it's fine, I'd feel that way too! But now that you have both cooled down, I am sure you see that what he has become is not normal, even an heresy if you look at his faith. He will listen to you, you can try and change him back."

He thought that using Lancel's faith and his love for it would make them see the light. Willem only glared.

"Lancel didn't become gay. He never was gay to begin with."

"I know, I know." Joffrey replied, sounding almost comforting

"He didn't choose to feel attracted by Loras."

His cousin seemed confused.

"I'm proud of my brother." Martyn started "It may be still confusing for him but he isn't afraid to show everyone he is different, to show them he is happy with Loras. Lancel could come out of the closet even at 80, he'd still be my brother."

"Yeah! Lancel's the best brother we could have ever hoped for and we're happy he's happy, doesn't matter if he is happy with a man, as long as he is!" His twin added

Joffrey shook his head with a sad expression.

"That's too bad. Really. You seemed clever enough. But he turned your minds against the truth. I'll make him understand."

He snapped his fingers, his crew started to march towards the boys, cornering them. Willem formed his hands into fists.

He wouldn't go down without a fight.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel checked his phone for the tenth time in a row, waiting for his brothers at the entrance of the school. They had planned on checking the new video game store that had opened recently, held by a former colleague and a friend of their father. Just like him, his brothers were never late, or they would tell him if they were to be. He had a nagging feeling that something had happened to them.

"Maybe I'm just paranoid... Just because I was attacked doesn't mean my brothers will be."

However, he couldn't get that impression out of his head. He decided to enter the school. Martyn was a bookworm, maybe he was at the library, bringing Willem along and he lost track of time looking at the titles. They weren't here. He tried to phone Willem. He knew he always put his phone on music mode when his classes were over, right after the bell had rung. Soon enough, he could hear a faint music coming out of the janitor closet. Willem's music. That was weird. The door was unlocked. Even weirder. But when he opened it, he froze, his hand letting go of his bag, which fell heavily on the floor.

Martyn and Willem were on the floor, naked, their clothes ripped apart. They were tied up, face to face, set up in a way that even the weirdest japanese porn comics wouldn't draw, their manhoods touching each others. It was clear they had tried to put up a fight as they were bruised. They had been gagged using a ball gag, something Lancel would have never thought seeing in his life. One thing was certain:

It was his fault.

The way the twins had been attacked certainly shared the pattern of his own aggression. The way they had been put was clearly an insult towards him, who was starting to show he was at ease almost romantically with a man. They were attacked because they were on his side. They knew nothing of his sexuality but when they had seen him coming down Loras' room, holding his hand, no words came from them. Not even after. Not even to their parents. Janei had been blissfully unaware, too caught up in Rapunzel's story. Lancel was certain of another thing. Gawain was innocent this time. Martyn and Willem weren't part of the club and the group didn't go out to harass people who didn't follow the faith of the Seven. However, this twisted scene had Joffrey's scent all over it. He was almost certain it was him, Ramsay Bolton had nothing against gays when he openly declared himself pansexual. He felt his heart shattering when he heard his siblings crying. They were usually so strong! Even when he had been attacked, they had tried their best not to show they wanted to cry, they tried to remain composed, to smile at him. He wanted to cry himself, but he was way too shaken to be able to say anything, completely numbed by the horror of what he was witnessing. Only one had cold truth was able to make him shiver, stabbing him in the heart:

He had failed his little brothers and what happened to them was all his fault.

 **To Be Continued**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 11**

"Dad, that was insane... They even had milk spilled on them to emulate... Well, you know what..."

Kevan didn't say a word, he only held Lancel closer. Dorna was upstairs, caring for the boys, while he had tried to get Lancel talking. He had been dumbstrucked to see his sons in such a state, Martyn and Willem completely numbed out by something and Lancel clearly distressed, waiting in the hospital's hallway, sitting on the bench. His eldest son had told him the story of how he found his brothers, his doubts, and as Lancel was explaining him, he could feel shivers down his spine as well as his blood boiling. Out of his four children, his three sons had been attacked for almost the same reason. Lancel had been raped because he had dared befriended someone who loved men and his brothers had been humiliated because they supported Lancel's choices. The way he had discovered them, naked, battered, their behinds so bruised and red from spanks he thought they'd never be able to sit down again, humiliated in a non-subtle way to show the culprit was homophobic, made him angry to a point he wouldn't have imagined. People had hurt his baby boys. Fortunately, Martyn and Willem had been spared what Lancel went through and they were able to come back home the same day.

"It's my fault... They were attacked because of me..."

Kevan didn't say anything, but Lancel could feel his father didn't want him to feel that way. He couldn't help it though. When he had seen his mother so distressed, such a short time after his own attack, Janei scared at the sight of her brothers, his father, usually so calm and composed so worked up and certainly feeling guilty because he didn't go ahead and made them transfer schools, he couldn't help but feeling he was cursed to make all the people he loved unhappy. Martyn and Willem had been attacked because of what he was.

"And what am I? I don't even know. I'm so pathetic, some kind of joke... My poor parents... They had waited sixteen years before they could finally be parents and look at what I am... Some kind of joke who doesn't know which way he fancies, who can't do anything right, who brings them nothing but troubles... All of this waiting and for what? They deserved a better son. A guy would would have been able to say he was straight, gay, bi, whatever... A guy who could defend himself and his loved ones... I'm a disgrace..." He thought

He felt like breaking into tears but that wouldn't help anything. His brothers needed a strong big brother, not a weeping wreck. Dorna came down the stairs, looking a bit relieved.

"How are they?" Kevan dared asked, unsure

"They seem better. They're asleep. Willem managed to tell me a bit. As well as who did it."

Kevan looked at her and seeing how upset she was, he expected that it was someone close.

"Joffrey."

Lancel wasn't surprised, this act had his signature all over it. He could feel his father's grip tightening around his shoulder.

"He said it was a punishment because they side with Lancel. He says Lancel is gay and that it is a disgrace for our family." She added, sounding hurt and horrified by the words she was saying

"Again with this homosexuality nonesense?!" He exclaimed

Lancel flinched a bit, if only they knew...

"Nephew or not, he will pay for this. I will call Cersei right away. I will not let this stand."

He got up and went to the phone. Dorna took his place near Lancel.

"How are you, honey?" She asked sweetly, despite sounding tired

"I'm so sorry..." The young man replied

"This isn't your fault." His mother said, sounding firm, something he didn't expect. "Keep that in mind. You are not to blame for what happened. Joffrey is."

"He hurt them because..."

"Because he's a spoilt little brat who didn't learn respect."

Lancel looked up at his mother, shocked to hear her so angry. She usually was so calm, trying to see the best in everyone.

"I don't care what his reasons were, if his reasons were true, if you are gay or not! He attacked my sons, your brothers, his kin! You weren't with him, tying them up and spanking them like in a bad pornographic movie. You suffer from this too, what happened to you is still fresh and he knows that! And if Cersei refuses to act, I will have no issue in putting her precious boy through a trial. She'd do the same, should the roles be reversed."

His mother sounded like a lioness.

"I guess Dad brought that in her..." He thought

"It's been a long day for you as well. You should go to bed. Even if you don't sleep right away, at least, you will get some rest. And Janei is fine."

He nodded, she kissed his forehead and wished him a goodnight, promising to check on him later. He obeyed and soon found the comfort of his room. He closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep, trying not to think of anything. He even restrained himself to send a message to Loras. He needed him again, he wanted to read from him, to see what he thought, to try and hear his voice as he'd read his textos, trying to ease him. He couldn't. His brothers were attacked because he was trying with Loras. He was happy with him, and Loras was a great person, but perhaps he just wasn't born for happiness. Even if it hurt him, he knew he had a duty as an eldest brother:

He had to put his siblings first.

 _XXXXX_

"Lancel?"

Willem's little voice woke Lancel up. His alarm clock showed around 1.00 am. He was surprised to find him near his bed, along with Martyn, just like when they were kids. When they were little and had a bad dream, they slipped into his room and they'd finish their night with him. He didn't expect them to come to him, the source of their misery.

"What is it?"

"It's just..."

"We..."

They sounded so unsure it broke his heart. He knew how it felt like.

"You saw again what happened to you."

They nodded.

"Can we sleep with you?" Martyn asked

Lancel almost felt like crying again, and he hated himself for it, he had become so soft and sensitive these days! But he was relieved, relieved beyond belief that his brothers didn't hold him accountable for what happened. Martyn took place on his right, Willem to his left.

Finding them asleep together, just like during the good old days, when everything seemed so easy and bright, was the best gift they could have hoped for these past few weeks.

 **To Be Continued**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 12**

"My God, this is…" Loras said, lost for words

He had noticed something was off with Lancel the moment he saw him. He had dark circles under his eyes and he seemed exhausted, defeated. At first, he feared he was reminiscing of what happened to him. But when he learnt what had occurred to the twins, he felt horrified. Those poor lads were amazing, the best little brothers anyone could hope and pray for.

"Usually, it is the best people that gets the crap." He angrily thought

"Joffrey had the decency to admit it was his doing. He actually believes he did them a favour. Dad is willing to let him go without being sued but he wants him punished."

"To think this beast dated Margaery…"

"Uncle Tywin wants to send him to the Wall. Joffrey has no clue, he wants it to be a bad surprise for him. Shock is the only thing that works on him."

Loras nodded. A military school for Joffrey, the spoilt little whiner, that seemed too good to be true.

"Dad really thinks about changing schools."

It was the most normal thing Loras heard that day. Out of his three sons going to this school, all three had been attacked with the same motive: homophobia. He was even surprised Lancel hadn't changed school after his own attack. He was glad he didn't, but he expected it to happen.

"They were attacked because of me…" Lancel continued

"Because of us." Loras thought "I am part of your misery…"

"I have to make this right…"

"And how could you possibly make this right?" He asked, intrigued but deep down a bit scared of his answer

Lancel looked up to him and Loras felt his heart breaking when he saw his eyes. What he had decided, it was eating him up, he had no desire to do it, it was going to make him miserable. Yet, he would go along anyway.

"If people see me with girls, they will stop assuming I am gay and leave my loved ones alone…"

Loras bit his tongue so hard he thought it'd bleed. However, the worst pain wasn't in his mouth, it was in his chest. He felt as if he had been stabbed right through the heart.

Lancel wanted to leave him.

He could see he had no real want to break up with him, and it wasn't as if they were together, declared boyfriends, but it still stung. He understood Lancel, he wanted to protect his brothers, maybe even him. And to be honest, he found it amazing that he was willing to sacrifice his personal happiness for the sake of the people he cared about. Lancel's selflessness was incredible. Any woman that would find her way into his life would be the luckiest person on Earth. He knew all that. But despite understanding all of this, all he could feel was his own pain, his selfish wish to have Lancel for himself. He was an addictive drug he couldn't live without anymore.

"I love him… I never thought I could have loved someone like I loved Renly… When the sun had set, no candle can replace it, but a candle, once in a while, can be comforting… But Lancel is no candle… He is another sun." He thought

The look of culpability on Lancel's face broke his heart. He too thought he brought him pain at one point.

"Joffrey is in the wrong, not you." He managed to say after a few moments

"I know but…"

"I can't blame you for wanting to protect your siblings. I know the feeling."

Lancel's eyes were fixing the ground.

"Lancel, be honest, do you truly want to date a girl right now?"

"No…" His voice was a whisper Loras managed to hear

He wanted to restrain himself from asking what he desired, however the words escaped his lips. He needed to hear the answer. Loras looked at him, Lancel had raised his head and it was clear he was trying his best to fight back his tears. He felt bad for putting him in such a state of mind.

"You should follow your heart, what it tells you. Your brothers would be grateful you try to protect them but equally pissed that you make yourself unhappy for their sakes." He explained

"What I want… You already know what I want." Lancel answered

"I need to hear it from you."

His voice and his face were so serious, it was something Lancel rarely saw on him. But he could understand. He was bothering him with his issues when he too had his own uncertainties. Loras deserved to be with someone who knew what he wanted, with someone who wouldn't cause him so much problems. He played with his fingers, unsure of how to say it, he wanted the words to be perfect, to fully convey the way he felt.

"I…" He hesitated, feeling his eyes on him

Loras wanted to smile, to ease him, seeing the struggle he was in, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"I want to be with you…"

His words tasted like honey and Loras felt a wave of relief in him. Lancel wanted him.

"In all of this madness, you're the only thing that makes sense…"

Loras bit his lip, feeling happy but also guilty. He should have known better. He felt awful for forcing Lancel into saying it while it was hard for him already. He gently took him by the shoulders to have him close and he kissed his forehead. Lancel seemed to relax at this touch. He could feel Loras was by his side and suddenly, the obstacles he could face seemed so little, so trivial! He had been such a fool, thinking he could continue without him! He was right, his brothers would have been so mad at him!

"Aww, isn't this sickly sweet?" A voice taunted

Joffrey had arrived, standing in front of them.

"Guess you haven't learnt your lesson, _cousin_." He almost spat

"Mind your own business, kiddo. We're sitting here, causing no troubles." Loras replied

"Mind your own business too, fag, I am talking to my mother's ill first cousin."

Lancel only glared.

"Either you are stupid or you are a masochist. No one in the right mind would continue this after what happened to him or to his kin."

Lancel continued to glare.

"I know you are not stupid, you're a Lannister, stupid isn't in your blood, especially considering it's Great-Uncle Kevan's in your veins. No, in fact, you're pretty sharp, under those naïve airs of yours. You are a masochist."

Joffrey walked towards him and whispered in his ear.

"Tell me, did you like it when Gawain fucked your ass with his bottle? You must have enjoyed it, or else you wouldn't be where you are now. You should be thankful he raped you, he revealed who you are. Perhaps I could pay you a little visit too, to reveal the whore hidden in you. Wouldn't you like it?"

Joffrey fell on his butt as Lancel suddenly pushed him out of his way to get out. Loras had seen his face going white and had felt the small shiver of fear running down his spine.

"What the fuck did you tell him, you bastard?!" He growled angrily

"The truth. Only truth can hurt that bad."

He had a wicked smile on his lips, certainly enjoying the pain he caused, the lovely moment he broke.

"Oh, did I make the little rose angry? Did I make him bad because I told his little cum dump that he was a whore who enjoyed every bit of the bottle his former friend plugged in his dirty hole?" He taunted, imitating a child's voice

Loras got up on his feet and punched Joffrey right in the nose. A breaking sound could be heard. Joffrey moaned in pain, his hand on his bruised area, looking with horror at the blood falling down his nostrils.

"Lancel would have apologized. I'm not Lancel." Loras stated before he turned his back on the teenager

He walked with a quick pace in the hallways, hoping he could catch up with Lancel.

The man he loved.

 **To Be Continued**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 13**

"Lancel? He went to the bathroom. He looked unwell." Margaery said when Loras questioned her

Before her brother could leave, she added, whispering in his ear, not wanting people to know:

"He looked about to cry and to throw up."

He only nodded, thanked her and he went to meet him. He could hear the mechanisms of the flush working, having been used recently. However, no signs of Lancel. He checked out the area and found him, hidden behind the last cabin, near the fire alarm and the gear used by cleaning people. His head was resting on top of his knees, his arms around his legs. Though he tried his best not to be loud, Loras could hear some sobs. If he had little remorse about breaking his nose before, he had even less now. No one could make Lancel cry and get away with it, not while he'd live. He went near him and sat by his side.

"Every tear you cry will meet his bloody counterpart on his face." He thought as he watched him

Loras was fairly surprised when Lancel sought his contact when he finally noticed him. He hugged him back, too happy to oblige, just hoping it'd be enough.

"I didn't enjoy what he did, I swear… I fought back…"

His voice broke his heart.

"I know you didn't enjoy it. You're the victim here. No one asks for rape. No one enjoys it. You aren't to blame and you don't have to justify yourself."

After a few minutes, Lancel seemed to calm down.

"It's funny, how the mind works… He told me…"

"If it's painful, don't."

"He told me he'd do the same but all I saw was that day…"

Loras hugged him closer. He wanted to tell him he knew how he felt, that it still occurred sometimes, but how to compare these two events? The results were so different and yet so similar…

"It will go away. I swear it will…"

Lancel only nodded.

"Have I ever told you how I lost Renly?"

Lancel looked up to him, his gaze was far away, still tainted with sadness.

"You didn't."

"Months ago, he and I were enjoying some time together. But we ended up cornered. Homophobic thugs…"

"Loras, if it is too early…"

"They did to us what they did to you, except the bottle part."

He could feel Lancel freezing in his arms.

"I woke up only to see Renly's corpse, laying in a hospital bed next to mine… According to the nurse, he had passed five minutes before I regained consciousness."

Lancel was horrified, lost for words, he wanted to comfort him, but nothing came. How could he say anything? Loras had lost the love of his life. Seeing him so upset, still hurting about Renly, made him ache. Ache for him, as he was a good man and he deserved to be happy. Ache also for himself. He didn't like seeing him that way, he wanted to help, to make him better, however he felt he'd never be able to.

"That day, when you have been attacked… When I found you… The scene was replaying in front of me… And when you were taken to your room, at some point, for a brief moment, it was Renly I saw…"

Loras could feel Lancel hugging him tighter.

"I felt as if I was losing the one I love all over again, a second time."

Lancel understood all too well. He admired Loras' strength. Despite his grief, he was still standing, strong, living and laughing. He never really knew Renly, actually he had met him once or twice when he went over to Cersei's house, when he babysitted Myrcella and Tommen when they were younger. Joffrey always remained in his room, refusing to be watched over a weirdo who enjoyed cleaning the house because it meant his pregnant mother could rest up.

"So yeah… It gets easier… It fades. It can come back but the pain turns into sadness and then into a bad memory you can cast aside. At least, when you are loved and supported."

"I know I am… It's just… I feel like I am a burden…"

"Just like Margaery told me once, our loved ones have good backpacks."

Lancel burst into a laughter, making Loras smile. How he had missed that sound! His little lion was the most adorable when his eyes sparkled with joy.

 _XXXXX_

Back home, Lancel went to bed early, genuinely tired. However, despite being in the dark, laying on his bed, he kept his eyes opened. He was deep in thoughts. Loras' story had touched him and the fact that he had found himself desiring to heal him the way he healed him was haunting him. He thought he had been just a good friend, trying to pay his debt back, What made him doubt, apart from the pains he had felt for him, wat he fact that he had been jealous. He had been jealous of a dead man, of a buried corpse. Because Loras still loved Renly, and he would certainly love him until his own death. For a brief moment, he had wanted to be the only one Loras would love, would look at. His selfishness horrified him. Renly had died too young in a gruesome crime and he was complaining that his past boyfriend was missing him like crazy. Much to his shame, he also had more and more frequent dreams of Loras and him, being more than friends and when he would wake up, he would still feel his touch, crave his breath, yearn his mouth… And his body always reacted. It reacted the same way he had fantasized about the only person he had fallen in love with before, Amerei.

"Maybe Margaery was right. Maybe I am a bisexual. I like both sides the same way."

It felt good to realize it, to put a word on it. He was bisexual. He felt… Relieved. Now, all that remained was his relationship with Loras. He was so close on putting a word on it too! He tried to remember how he realized he was in love with Amerei.

"Lancel, no, just… Imagine Loras is a girl. How would you feel?" He wondered, feeling it could be easier

He became aware of his love for Amerei when he almost lost her in a car accident. He had experienced what he was currently feeling with Loras with her as well. The same steps. All the same.

"I…I love him? I am in love with him?"

He needed him, he craved him, he wanted to be with him, he wanted to make him happy and when he was down, it was to him his first thoughts went. He had to face it.

He had fallen for a man.

He was in love with Loras Tyrell.

 _XXXXX_

Loras had been surprised when Lancel asked him if they could talk. It reminded him of their toast to their friendship, it wasn't so long ago yet it felt like ages ago. He looked worried yet something had changed. He seemed more… At ease.

"You remember when you said you liked me?" He asked

"I do." Loras replied

"When you agreed to be my test?" He asked again

"Lancel, what's your point?" The Tyrell inquired, worried

He could see Lancel was searching for the right words, as always. He wanted to help.

"Lancel. Shoot. Be blunt if you need to."

"I love you."

Loras was drinking from his bottle of Cherry Coke and almost chocked when he heard.

"Gods, are you okay?!" Lancel worried

"Ye…Yeah… Just… What?"

"I'm sorry, I..."

"Did you just say that..."

Lancel stared at the ground, defeated.

"You don't. It's okay, I understand."

"No, I don't love you. I adore you."

He didn't leave Lancel some time to react and locked his lips in a heated kiss. Lancel closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. It felt divine. Feeling on cloud nine, he barely noticed people were actually cheering and applauding when they broke their embrace.

He was in love with the man.

He was loved by a man.

And it was one of the best thing that happened to him.

 **To Be Continued**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 14**

Lancel was tense as he was sitting in the living room. It was almost time. Time to come out to his parents. Martyn and Willem knew the truth, in part, but they needed to hear it as well. He was scared to death, fearing his brothers would hate him because then, their attack would gain a meaning. If it wasn't true he was gay, it wasn't a lie either. He was in between and currently in love with a man, making him kinda gay at the moment. Loras had suggested he'd come but he declined. He thought the new in itself was big enough, he wanted to go slowly and should anything go wrong, at least, they wouldn't know about them.

"What if they are disappointed? They waited for so long to have a child, I know I'm far from what they expected, but surely they expected a straight son who would bring over a girl, marry her and have children with her?" He silently worried

Janei was sitting on the floor, quietly playing with her Rapunzel doll, brushing her hair, a small smile on her lips. Ever since she had seen the movie, it had replaced Frozen in her heart.

"Lancel, relax! It looks like you're awaiting your death warrant!" Willem joked

"You couldn't have said it better." He thought

Kevan looked at his son. Something was bothering him, he could tell. However, he knew he couldn't force him to speak. And confronting him could prove to be less than helpful. All he could do was wait and somehow, it angered him. He was his father and he couldn't help him in what was eating him from inside. This silence was painful and only Janei seemed to be blissfully ignorant of what was going on.

"I have something to say…" Lancel started

He could feel all eyes on him and he felt petrified. He tried to think of Loras, to give him courage.

"I don't know how to say it, so I'll be blunt…"

Kevan nodded.

"I am seeing someone."

Dorna seemed delighted and asked for her name.

"His name, Mom…"

"Oh…"

"Wait, so you're gay?" Martyn asked "But, you dated a girl before."

"Hey, maybe he tried but realized it wasn't for him." Willem carefully explained

"I'm not gay. Not really…" Lancel replied, embarrassed

"So, you like both men and women." Kevan stated

Lancel looked at him, surprised. His father didn't seem upset, in fact, he was even smiling.

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be angry at my son for being bisexual when I supported the youngest of my brothers years ago for the same reason?"

Dorna only smiled and the twins seemed to understand, as they didn't act angry or anything. In fact, they too seemed pretty okay with the fact that their brother could like both boys and girls.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" Dorna asked cheerfully

"Mom…"

"Whoever dates my son gets to meet us." She replied

Suddenly, Willem had a realization. It all made sense now!

"It's Loras, isn't it?" He inquired

Lancel slowly nodded and could see the now concerned faces of his parents. He knew they had a lot of respect for Loras, he saved his life, he helped, he supported him and they were more than grateful for it. But it didn't change that he had been attacked using Loras as an excuse.

"Well, I guess we'll have Loras over for dinner." His mother finally said, causing her son to smile

A wave of relief hit him.

He still had his family by his side.

 _XXXXX_

"Lory!" Janei greeted happily

"Hey there, Janei!" Loras replied, smiling

He was welcomed in by the twins, with a warm smile. He was relieved to see them so well after what Joffrey did to them. He hoped Tywin's secret bomb would explode soon, just to see his bastard's face deformed with terror. Then, he saw Lancel and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't feel comfortable kissing him on the lips in his home yet. His lover might have told him his kin was at ease with them being together, it was still fresh for them and even if they met him before, it was still his first official meeting as a potential son-in-law. And besides, he didn't know if they'd agree with them kissing in front of Janei. Sure, certainly her parents did but they were a mommy and a daddy, he didn't know how she'd react if she saw her brother kissed like a mommy by another boy. Then, the parents came along and they seemed warm enough. Loras felt awkward. It was his first parents meeting actually, Renly being an orphan. Janei seemed excited to play with him, making him smile. She reminded him so much of Margaery when she was a little girl!

"Sweetheart, we have to talk to Loras first, but he will join you later, okay?" Her mother told her

"Pinky swear." Loras promised, making her the happiest possible

Kevan, Dorna, Lancel and Loras sat in the kitchen while the twins were watching over Janei.

"I must admit, we've been rather… Surprised when we learnt your son was dating you." Kevan started

Loras nodded.

"We know you well enough to know you care." He continued

"But you are worried because of what happened to Lancel." Loras guessed

"Yes, sadly."

Loras understood. It was quite the situation for them. Lancel had been raped because he was thought gay, because he was friend with a homosexual, what could happen to him now that it was official he was a bisexual, in love with a man?

"We support you. Fully. Whoever hurts our son or you get to meet our lawyers." Kevan said

Loras smiled.

He was welcomed in the Lannister family.

"Mommy?"

"Yes Janei?"

"I saw Lory kissing Lany on the cheek. Is Lany in love with Lory?"

Lancel blushed. He thought they had been discrete.

"Yes, he is. You see, honey, sometimes, a boy can love a boy the way a mommy loves a daddy." Dorna carefully explained

"Like a princess loves a prince?" Janei asked

"Yes, exactly."

Janei seemed to understand before she asked again:

"So, when will Lany and Lory have a baby?"

Lancel chocked on his drink while Loras laughed, helping him in the process.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel still couldn't believe it, even after he had joined it.

He had been welcomed in another religious club.

Margaery was the one who told him about it and though he wasn't officially banned from the Sparrows, he had been welcomed in with open arms.

"Does it bother you that I date a man?" He had asked frankly

"The Gods made you that way. Why would we be bothered by their will? The Sparrows aren't bad people but they are close-minded. We'd be glad to have you." He had been answered

Loras felt a warm feeling in his heart when he saw his lion so relieved, so happy! It was as if he was seeing Lancel the first time they met, in politics class.

"So?"

"I am your favourite priest again."

"So, forgive me Father, because I have sinned?" He joked

"You're forgiven." Lancel replied

Loras took him by the shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"Urgh, get a room, seriously!" Joffrey complained

Lancel looked at him right in the eyes and he kissed Loras right on the lips. Loras was surprised but Joffrey's face was to die for. Oh, just to spite him, they could even make out!

"You jerk!"

"Says the one who jerks to lesbian porn." Lancel replied

Joffrey left, red with shame and anger.

Lancel and his boyfriend shared a laugh.

He was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life.

 **To Be Continued**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 15**

Checking himself one last time in the mirror, Lancel wondered if he was pretty enough. Not that he thought he was ugly, he was perfectly aware that most people found him beautiful. But he wanted Loras to find him that way, he wanted him to feel proud to have him by his side.

"Knowing Loras, I could be dressed with a garbage plastic bag and he'd find me desirable…" He tried to reassure himself.

The day was pretty hot, so he got dressed lightly. He was wearing black jeans with a pale blue grey top. To cover his arms, he wore a slightly darker blue shirt, which he left opened. He tied the shoelaces of his black Converse. He was ready to go. He went downstairs. The home was rather quiet. His mother had went to see her sister Shierle, who had been taken to the hospital as she had a scare.

"Hope her baby is still alive." Lancel hoped

His father was at work and Martyn had gone to see his girlfriend, Mary. Only Willem had remained, watching over Janei.

"Careful, don't do any folly with that body of yours." He joked as Lancel took his keys

Lancel only grinned and left. His feet took him to the park where he sat on a bench, under a weeping willow. It was filled with people enjoying the first warm rays of the sun, children laughing, it was enjoyable. He loved being outdoors, in these little pieces of green in town.

"When the weather is stable, I should come here and draw again, like I used to." He thought

He took his phone and played with it for a bit.

"Now, now, I'm not that late!" Loras teased as he arrived

Lancel raised his head and smiled.

"Great mind think alike, shippers will drool when they learn about us being dressed almost in the same fashion." He joked

Loras was dressed in a grey t-shirt, jeans and black baskets. His hair was a bit pushed back and he had a three days beard. He smiled and sat near his boyfriend.

"What are you thinking of? You were lost in thoughts when I saw you." He asked

"Taking back drawing."

"Draw me like one of your French girls." Loras jested

Lancel winced.

"Urgh, you know I hate this movie!"

"Who hates Titanic?"

"I do! It's boring! I always fall asleep when I try to watch it! I mean, cute love story and all but I can't find any place in my heart for it."

"So, you'd say to it _"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"_ ?"

"Yes, because Rhett is awesome."

"And Scarlett?"

"Pretty dresses. But I prefer Melanie."

Loras smiled. He liked movies but Lancel's knowledge on it was admirable. He was even surprised that, as a Lannister, his arty side had been allowed. But then again, he was Kevan's son and Kevan knew how to live with his time. In 2016, an arty Lannister teenager wasn't a shame. He wondered where Lancel got his love of creation, of music, of movies, of theatre, of languages. For Heaven's sake, his favourite movie critic on Youtube was a French guy and he listened to his vlog in French! Loras had tried, as he wasn't bad in that language but he had to admit that he didn't understand. All he understood was the intro, at best. Lancel had explained he was fluent in French because he had a penpal in Dunkirk, who became his best friend, a girl he met when he participated in a student exchange. Ever since, even if she was able to communicate in his language, he always talked to her in French, at least for a part of their skype meeting.

"You'd love her, she's crazy but in a good way." Lancel told him

"Crazy like?" He asked, curious

"Not shipping Pricefield, disliking Chloe Price and actually liking Jefferson?" His boyfriend answered

"Gods, she's nuts! Chloe's awesome!" Loras replied, sounding offended

Lancel laughed. Loras' frown was adorable. He leaned towards him and gently kissed him. Loras enjoyed, glad to see that his love was getting more and more comfortable, seeking his company, his touch, initiating some moves.

He was happy he felt good with him.

From far away, Kevan was driving his car, on his way home, having been able to leave early. He noticed someone familiar.

"Is this Lancel?" He wondered

As he stopped at the red light, he could stare a bit longer and he realized it was his son, just like he thought, kissing Loras. Kevan felt uneasy and looked away. He didn't mind Lancel going out, he didn't mind him going out with his boyfriend. The Father was his witness, he'd even proudly walk his son to the altar to marry Loras Tyrell if they were to get married! No, what made him uncomfortable was seeing his son being "physical" with someone. Truth be told, he had never seen Lancel kissing Amerei, even if they had dated for two years. In his mind, Lancel was still his little boy, and though he knew he was growing up and becoming a man, a man he was proud to call his son, he couldn't help but always seeing him as his baby, the child Dorna and him had yearned for. Lancel had fulfilled their dream of parenthood, their hopes, he was everything they had dreamt of and even better.

Why did he have to grow up so fast?

 _XXXXX_

Around 4.00 pm, Lancel and Loras went to enjoy something cold, protected by the sun, who had gotten so hot they felt as if they were melting.

"That will call for another pool afternoon!" Loras stated

"Just admit you want to see me in swim trunks." Lancel teased

"Ouch, busted!"

A glint of malice sparkled in Lancel's eye. He had an idea. Loras loved seeing him that way, so playful. They posed together and took a selfie.

"As long as we're not told to fuck it." He said

"Come on, how can we not? There was a site called camera porn in Life is Strange."

He sent the picture and as he received a notification that it had been sent without issues, he couldn't help but chuckle.

He was bad but he was perfectly good at it.

 _XXXXX_

As Joffrey was in his room, fuming that he had to go to the Wall to avoid jail because he did Willem and Martyn a favour by teaching them the proper way to address a fag brother, he received a message on his phone. From Lancel.

"What the fuck does he want?"

He opened it and found the picture of him and Loras smiling, clearly having a good time. It had a small text:

 _This is your doing. If it weren't for you calling me a whore, we might have never come to realize we're in love, we might have never gotten together. We so love you Joffrey! You're our fairy godmother!_

He left a scream of rage escape his lips as he threw his phone on his bed. That cunt had dared! Where was his meek, malleable cousin?

Lancel had won and he had lost.

"Fuck this shit!"

Lancel could be fucked in his ass all he wanted, he didn't care anymore, he wasn't family anymore. If he didn't want to be saved, that was his problem.

He had bigger issues to deal with than an unrepentant fag.

Like preparing himself to be sent to the strictest military school of the land.

 **To Be Continued**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 16**

Lancel still couldn't believe Loras had his house for himself for the weekend and that he had been allowed to invite him over for the two days. His father was on a business trip and had brought his wife along, to enjoy some quality time during the breaks.

"Visiting Pisa, lucky them!" Lancel had thought when he learnt

As for Margaery, she was away too, but he didn't know the reason. All he saw was that they had a two days date. He could still see Loras's surprised face when he proposed to help with chores. He had teased him, but it was fair game, after all, he teased him as well.

"An apron, good cooking, damn, you make the perfect little wife, Lancel!"

He had turned around and pouted, making Loras laugh.

"I'm not a girl!"

"Sorry, the perfect little husband."

"Better."

They had shared the same bed and waking up next to him was something he couldn't wait to experience again. To wake, nestled again him, surrounded by their common warmth, seeing his sleeping and peaceful face, was intoxicating. Getting out of bed and breaking that moment seemed criminal.

Sadly, the weather had been awful and they couldn't go out like they had planned, but Lancel enjoyed simply hanging with him and this semblance of domestic life with the man he loved was a thing he could totally see for him in the years to come. Lancel had had many dreams in the past and growing up, some faded, some had to be left, but one remained, deeply anchored in his being:

To have a family of his own.

He could see himself growing old by Loras' side, in a little house, where they could be all geeky without shame. Sitting on the couch, listening to the rain, he was certain of it.

"Thinking of something pleasant?" Loras inquired as he saw Lancel's soft smile

He simply nodded. Loras sat by his side and stole a kiss from him. A kiss that became more and more heated, seeking each other's tongue. Lancel couldn't hold back a small moan of delight. He could feel himself melting under Loras' touch. He loved it when he kissed him that way, it made him feel loved, desired, chosen. It eased his insecurities, insecurities he developed when he started to date Loras, worried he wouldn't be enough, worried he'd tire of him, the shy and awkward devout. When Loras kissed him like that, he felt he was the most cherished person on Earth. Feeling him so close, being able to smell his scent, touching his skin, it was another dope he craved.

"Well, someone seems eager." Loras said as they parted

Lancel seemed confused until he realized he was actually having a start of an erection. He looked away, ashamed.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm quite proud actually. I made you that way." He joked "I can take care of that."

Lancel tensed. He understood what Loras meant, at least he thought he understood, and if a part of him wanted it, he couldn't help but being afraid.

"If you don't want me to, just tell me."

His voice was soft, something that helped him. Looking away, he just said he could try. Loras smiled.

"Lancel, I want you to promise me to tell me if you don't feel well. Even in the middle of it. I'll stop. I don't want you to feel like you are going to be killed."

He just nodded. He didn't dare look at Loras when he undid his trousers and his underwear. He felt weird knowing he was seeing him in such a light. It wasn't the first time he saw his intimate parts but it was in such a different context! However, despite the awkwardness, he felt ashamed admitting he found it arousing, being exposed to the one he loved, being touched by him. He had been a bit surprised when he noticed Loras starting to suck on his manhood.

"What is he doing?" He wondered, a bit alarmed

Nonetheless, he had to acknowledge the fact that it felt good. It was warm and moist and he could feel a wave of pleasure spreading in him. He bit of his finger, trying not to be too noisy. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't hold back some moans, which seemed to please Loras as he continued, going deeper. Lancel felt as if he was being driven insane.

"He's getting relaxed, that's good." Loras happily thought "But I didn't expect him to be so well equipped!"

"Gods, Loras…" Lancel whispered

Loras continued, he could feel him getting even bigger and close. Lancel could feel it too and he got worried.

"Loras, stop, I'm going to…"

Sadly for him, before he finished his sentence, he ended up releasing his seed in his lover's mouth.

"Loras, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be! I'm glad actually. You taste delicious."

Lancel felt his cheek burning. Which made him shameful. He had just gotten sucked by his boyfriend and he dared blush because he was told it felt good for him too. And looking at him, Loras knew Lancel enjoyed it.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel had never looked so radiant. That was what Neal and Victor thought when they saw him waiting near his class, Loras kissing him goodbye. At first, they didn't approve of Lancel's new love life, like Gawain, they thought a man dating a man had no business with the Gods. However, what Gawain did to him, it was a disgrace. Lancel didn't deserve any of it, especially when, back then, Lancel was just friendly to a homosexual. They had the shock to learn of his church's acceptance of who he was, seeing in him only a good young man, doing his best to be a better person.

Soon after Lancel's rape, many had remained, out of fear, but with time, the Sparrows counted less and less members, people who supported Lancel like Donnel, or people who didn't recognize themselves anymore in the group's actions. They would leave too. They didn't want to be associated with someone they were disgusted by. And they had a penance to do. The Seven were good, Lancel might even forgive them, though they didn't count on it too much. It didn't matter how much time it'd take.

They'd make this right.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel had found a quickly written note on his desk when he entered for politics class, Loras sitting by his side. He recognized Gawain's handwriting.

"What is it?" Loras inquired

"I am officially banned from the Sparrows, it seems. What a joke. As if they needed to make it official."

Loras read the note and anger started to rise in him.

"How dare they accuse you of making their members flee?!"

"Because they need a scapegoat."

"How do you feel?"

Lancel looked at him.

"Freed." He smiled

Loras kissed him as the teacher entered.

"I am glad to see two young people in love but it's time to focus on the dornish system. Less attractive I'm afraid." He joked

The couple had a smile.

 **To Be Continued**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 17**

The school year was starting its slow course towards its end. The sun was high and bright and many students who hadn't been careful enough were red or already peeling. And sadly, it was Lancel's case. He had tried to protect himself but being blond with a pale skin, despite sunblock, he still got sunburnt, much to his annoyance. Loras had gently called him his lobster. The couple was sitting on the grass, near the gymnasium, enjoying the calmness of lunch break. Lancel needed it. He felt a storm was coming and it was going to involve him, once again, when all he sought was peace and tranquillity.

The Sparrows had continue to lose members and some people who had been against his had developed a back bone he would have never imagined in him. He didn't say a word, just stopped coming and on Gawain's birthday, he announced he intended to leave the group to be able to lead his new religious club properly and he invited all those who had been sick to their stomach when they realized that their opposition to Lancel's attack and ban had been for nothing, even the vote had had no purpose. The majority actually wanted to keep Lancel among them. Donnel's club was becoming quite popular as it was modern, fresh and so open-minded it even planed on making a day about tolerance and acceptance of the LGBT community. A first in the history of clubs at that school. Gawain was green with envy.

Even worse, Donnel had even reported Lancel's rape to both the headmaster and the police. Until further notice, the Sparrows were ordered to be disbanded. Both sides were investigating but what made Lancel angry was the fact that Donnel was backed up by Kevan, his own father.

Lancel had never spoke of his rape, of what people had done to him, he had never mentioned any names. He didn't even want them punished, because he knew they would never learn. That would have been a waste of efforts, of money, of time. All he wanted was to forget and to move on. He could understand Donnel. He was so young and impressionable, he genuinely wanted to help and he had no clue of what was going on in his head. However, he did felt upset about his father getting involved. He didn't know how he did it, but Kevan always seemed to understand him, how he worked, yet, this time, he turned a blind eye on what he could see. He tried to understand, and in a way, he could. He was his child, someone had tortured and defiled him and he wanted to have revenge, proper and lawful revenge, on who had dared to touch his baby. But it was bringing back so many painful memories he almost wished he was dead. All that he had buried was rushing back, haunting his dreams, dreams so vivid he thought he was raped again. And if the police was to gather all the evidence that Donnel wasn't lying, surely there would be a trial. A trial where he'd need to be there, to speak, to remember every single detail. He could restrain himself from attending and sending a lawyer to represent him but he knew, in those terrible cases, it had more impact if the victim was here to plead his case. The mere thought of having to face Gawain, to see his wicked and unrepentant smile as he'd explain what he and his crew did to him was making him genuinely sick and nauseous. Loras was trying his best to make him smile, to make him forget for a moment, and he was grateful he didn't have to face that alone.

"But in the box, I'll be alone…" He thought

Suddenly, the silence of the place was disrupted by crying sirens and men emerged from police cars.

"It has begun." Lancel realized

The storm had begun.

 _XXXXX_

Gawain's lack of dignity had shocked Lancel, as he had expected that kind of attitude from Joffrey, and not from him. Myrcella had reported to him how Joffrey took the new of his transfer to the Wall. He had looked upset and angry, but he had remained composed, simply asked why such a decision was made, nodded and locked himself in his room. To quote her, and coming from her, Lancel knew it wasn't false praises, he had showed the attitude of a dignified king. Gawain had to be restrained by two muscular policemen as he had refused to follow them, despite being placed under arrest for rape. He had screamed, he had cursed, and when he saw Lancel, he had told him he wished he had fucked him so hard he would have bled to death, so that he could burn in the Seven's Hells. He didn't regret what he did one bit, thinking he did the right thing, punishing a liar, a sinner and fag at the same time. Loras had taken Lancel by his shoulder and pressed him against his body, as a sign of support. He hadn't realized how unwell he looked until he saw his reflection in the mirror of the bathroom. He looked like a ghost. All it took for Gawain to make him look the way he was months ago was a bunch of words. He felt pathetic. It wasn't behind him at all. Loras' words came to him.

"Perhaps it's a harm for a greater purpose. With that, maybe you can put him behind you even further."

He looked at himself once again after putting some water on his face. He was still pale but his eyes looked like sharp steel.

He'd face them all, once again, and he'd win.

He would not break again.

 **To Be Continued**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Chapter 18**

Lancel thought he was dying when he was facing the large wooden doors of the courthouse. Kevan had accompanied him, as well as the twins and Loras. Dorna had wanted to come, but it would have meant bringing Janei in a place she could be bored or scared.

"I can't do it…" He whispered to himself

Loras heard him and looked at Kevan, who seemed to understand as he simply nodded. He took Lancel's hand and led him somewhere quieter, where they could be alone. They sat on the bench.

"I can't do it…" Lancel repeated

"You can and you will." Loras replied

"I can't… I want to but I can't… I just want to go home…"

Lancel's scared look and voice broke his heart. He couldn't blame him for getting cold feet when he was about the face the ones who hurt him and tell strangers what happened to him. Even worse, Kevan would be there, he'd hear everything and discover just the extent of the horror his son went through. He hugged him tight, gently caressing his hair, trying to give him some of his strength. Lancel genuinely looked sick.

"You won't be alone in there. We'll be near you."

Lancel didn't reply. Loras looked at him, he had buried his head in his chest. However, he seemed to be better, as he could feel his body relaxing.

"I know you can do it. You are stronger than you look. Don't let him win."

Lancel nodded and broke the hug, he seemed eased as he had recover his composure. Loras got up, offered him his hand. He took it without any hesitation and headed back towards the room. He looked at the doors opening and entered, head high, eyes fixed far away in front of him.

Loras was right. A battle was going to begin and he wouldn't be the loser in that story, he wouldn't allow it.

 _XXXXX_

Loras never looked away from Lancel the entire time and he had to admit that his boyfriend had amazed him. He knew he was strong but Lancel had proved him he didn't know how much. He had spoken loudly and clearly, never a word higher than the other, never showing any sign of fear and weakness. He had looked at Gawain right in the eye without backing down and called him what he was in front of the entire court:

A close minded, twisted, manipulative, sadist, homophobic rapist.

He had told the entire story from the beginning. How he met Loras. The start of Gawain's taunts. His desire to hunt down gays. How he had been tricked by a fellow sparrow to follow him, only to be beaten down, humiliated, a bottle forced so deep in his private area that the doctors had feared an internal bleeding. The doctors had provided a copy of their diagnosis from the day he was brought after being found by Loras. Lancel's story matched perfectly and Gawain's only defence was that Lancel had deserved it, that homosexuality was a diseases that needed to be killed with fire. Loras briefly wondered how Gawain ended up being who he was before remembering he had broken the man he loved. He didn't deserve his compassion. Loras was called, to see if his version was similar to Lancel's. He backed up Lancel on every detail that had been provided. Gawain's lawyer stated Loras' words couldn't be hold for accountable due to his personal link to Lancel, but when Kevan backed up his son, when one of the doctors who treated him backed him up, his accusation melted like snow under the sun. The jury retired to debate. It was exceptionally short, as one hour later the members were ready to give their verdict.

Gawain was recognized guilty of rape, sexual humiliation, homophobic attacks, as well as his peers.

The sentence fell.

Gawain was sentenced to fifteen years of jail without possibility of being freed before, even with a good behaviour. He also got a life restrain order, forbidding him to go near Lancel. His accomplices all got sentences between three and ten years.

As Lancel left the room, he strangely felt empty, as if he had been drained from all of his energy. It was over, finally.

When he got out, he was surprised to see that Margaery was waiting for them in her car, some bags on the back seats. He looked at Loras, puzzled.

"Just enjoy." His father told him, smiling

Lancel felt like the most cherished person on Earth.

Loras was taking him away for the rest of the week, just to ease him after the hardship he went through.

He really had the best boyfriend ever.

 _XXXXX_

Loras's aunt Mina had lent her nephew her holiday house so that him and his man could enjoy, especially after the trial. It was in the country, far away, a perfect place to relax. Lancel adored the place and he loved sitting in the garden, pencil in hand, drawing the landscapes. Sadly for him, the day he wanted to draw again, it was storming badly and he was locked in the house.

"It rained too when Loras and I…" He remembered, blushing at the memory

He admitted he wished it happened again, that it went even further. He wanted Loras to enjoy too, he wanted to give as much as he was receiving. Much to his shame, he wanted to feel him another way, a way Loras could also know the pleasure he offered him. He wanted it, but he feared the pain, remembering the bottle all too well.

"Loras would never hurt me… He'd make sure I'd feel good…"

He didn't know how to bring the subject up however. He didn't want to sound like a pervert.

"Last time, it wasn't planned… Maybe I'm thinking too much." He assumed

"Quit that thinking, you'll wrinkle yourself before your time!" Loras joked

"Well, excuse me for thinking of our common pleasure." Lancel teasingly replied

"You know, you can just tell me you're horny, it goes faster."

"You jerk."

"But you love me."

"But I love you."

Loras kissed him gently and Lancel was the one to seek his tongue, much to his boyfriend's delight. He could feel Lancel wanted him, as he felt his erection against his leg sooner than the previous time. As he was kissing his neck and trailing down its line, his hand was reaching his manhood and starting to caress it through the clothes. Lancel's moan made him hot. They sought each other's bare skin and undressed each other. Much to his surprise, Lancel even dared touch him back, something that drove him crazy. Between two kisses, he whispered in his hear:

"Take me."

"You're sure about this?" Loras asked carefully

Lancel nodded.

"If you feel unwell or if it hurts, you tell me and I stop."

He only kissed him ever harder. He sucked on his finger, hoping it'd be enough, he really didn't want to hurt him. He kissed him again and as their cocks were rubbing against each other, he started to gently tease Lancel's hole. He could feel him tensing at the small intrusion of the foreign body. Worried, Loras stopped, but Lancel asked him to continue. Soon, he could enter his entire finger and move it, causing Lancel to moan in pleasure.

"Are you okay?"

"More than okay."

He placed himself at the entrance and slowly pushed. The tip was in and Lancel tensed, not used to Loras' size. Loras kissed him and played with his dick to try and ease him. He slowly pushed further and entered him completely. He remained still, wanting to give him time to get used to it. It was only when Lancel gave him his approval that he started to move very carefully. Soon, Lancel seemed perfectly fine and Loras started to pound him a bit harder. His lover seemed to love it, as his hips started to move, to match his own pace.

"Gods, you feel amazing!" He told Lancel lovingly

Lancel kissed him and asked him to go faster, he could handle it. In a very short time, the room was filled with the wet sounds of love-making and of their groans. The pain was way behind him, all he cared about at that moment was Loras, the way he made him feel so good, the pleasure that was increasing in his entire being.

"Gods, Loras..."

Loras could feel he was close and realized how much he must have craved it. A few moments after, after some powerful thrusts, Lancel couldn't hold it back anymore and he came, Loras was so close to him that he got some on his chest. It only drove him even more eager, as he thrusted more and more. He reached his own orgasm and came inside of him. He let himself gently fall on top of his lover, both breathless, trying to regain a normal state. Loras stole a final kiss from him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

 **To Be Continued**


	19. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones isn't my property, it is HBO's and GRRM's. Because if it were mine, Lancel would be still alive and kicking, the king of the Seven Kingdoms, leading them to an era of prosperity and peace while having a long and happy life.

Summary: Meeting someone is opening a book. Re-discovering someone is getting into its content.

Author's note: Just a huge huge huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91, who helped me a lot with this, from listening to the idea to even helping out with the chapter guide! Hope I'll do well, I'm not used on having such a long fanfic :)

Author's note 2: This is a Lancel/Loras story, so yes, that means gay stuff. I can understand people being uncomfortable with it, however it won't be an excuse to attack me on the ship or the fanfic because of it. I'll say it loud and clear, any negative review that IS NOT FAIR AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM will be removed. My story, my rules, period.

Author's note 3: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

 **WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CAN CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES SUCH AS BULLYING, SEX AND HOMOSEXUALITY. IF YOU ARE ILL-AT-EASE WITH THESE SUBJECTS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION.**

 **Shaking Worlds**

 **Epilogue**

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger, I am his/hers and she/he is mine from this day until the end of my days."

Twenty-eight years old Lancel looked proudly at his younger brother Martyn, getting married to his first love, Mary White. Near him, his hand in his, Loras was looking at the young couple, happy to witness the joyful event. Lancel and him had been together for ten years and their love hadn't fade with the time, in fact, it only got stronger and deeper. He hoped that, one day, he'd be able to call Lancel his husband in front of everyone. He'd be proud to be called Lancel's spouse. He just hoped he'd have the courage to ask him.

 _XXXXX_

Loras didn't know how to ask for Lancel's hand in marriage. He knew he had Kevan and Dorna's blessing, they even laughed when he dared ask, but he could feel that they appreciated the move. Lancel came back from work, where he let himself fall on the sofa, tired, happy to be finally home. Loras decided to gather his courage and faced him.

"What is it?" Lancel asked

Loras got on his knee.

"Okay, I'm not good at being cheesy, so here's a try… I love you. And I'm pretty sure I'll always love you. Lancel, would you make me the happiest by accepting me as your husband?"

Lancel laughed, leaving Loras puzzled. He took out a small box from his pocket and opened , there was a ring.

"I wanted to ask you too."

The couple burst out of laughter.

"So, what do you say?" Loras asked

"What do you think?" Lancel softly replied

Loras sealed their promise with a loving kiss.

He was Lancel's just like Lancel was his and he wouldn't have it any other way.

 **The End**


End file.
